Don’t Give Up On Me

Not to make this post sad or anything but I need to vent. Sorry if this depresses you in any way you could look at other posts for non-depressed stuff. So this post is about people giving up on me. I have had my fair share of people exiting my life. For no apparent reason. It hurts every time it happens. Every time. Yeah it kind of happens a lot. Even though I try to prevent it from happening. I try to dismiss the negative people out of my life. But sometimes it’s the people that you don’t even assume to hurt you that do. People that you thought would always be by your side… and then suddenly they’re not answering any of your texts or they don’t even say a simple hello. People you thought would never give up on you. They don’t INTENTIONALLY try to hurt you but it does hurt. I thought you would always be there for me. But suddenly you’re not answering my texts. You’ve stopped trying. Then you start to contemplate if you did something wrong. No I didn’t so anything wrong.. I thought the conversation was going great. But I guess not. And you know that they’re on their phone or their phone did not accidentally get put in the dryer in the last 20 minutes. Because they’re on their social media. Now that’s just knife in the heart fantastic. You’re intentionally yet not intentionally ignoring my texts. And it’s not just texts, you don’t even take the effort to ask how life’s been. Then it’s not just one text. It’s a whole bunch of texts. Then whenever you start to have a conversation you try so hard to be interesting and grip their attention so that They. Won’t. Leave. When has this friendship suddenly become one-sided? But you know what the hardest part of all of this is? Forgiveness. They will probably ask for something or talk to me like nothing happened. Like nothing happened. And I will just forgive them. Because I don’t want to make it this whole thing. But it is this whole thing. Friendship. What is friendship? The state of comfort, love, and just being there. But you were never there. And I’m just supposed to acknowledge it like nothing happened? Is this healthy? Is this ok? It probably isn’t. But I can’t say anything because I don’t want to make it a whole thing. Like when Atticus and Heck Tate didn’t want to make the Boo Radley stabbing Bob Ewells a big thing. He just wanted to let it slide because they didn’t want to attract unwanted attention to Boo. (That was a To Kill A Mockingbird reference in case anyone wasn’t sure what I was talking about. I just finished the book, and it changed my life.) See they haven’t completely given up on me but they have given up in a way. They just stop trying. And it’s starting to get to me. I just don’t understand why.

~Depressing post of the day~

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