In our lives, at a given point we were judged. We were judged and we believed that we had to achieve someone else’s standards of “perfect.”
For me it happened when I was a kid. People always told me I was too skinny and too small. No matter where I would go someone would call me skinny. I mean the height thing bothered me for a while because I never truly understood why I had to be, in comparison, smaller than other people. But over the years I’ve embraced my height. But the thing that always bothered me was the weight thing. People actually assumed that I didn’t eat at all. I mean if I didn’t eat at all how was I still alive? I really wish I knew I didn’t have to believe them back then. Whenever someone would tell me I’m “too skinny.” I would believe them and I would try to fit their standard. I tried eating more so I could prove them wrong. But no matter what I couldn’t please them. The worst part was that this was always coming from my extended family. Relatives. People that should love me for who I am. But they didn’t. They always saw some flaw in me. My relatives are very judgmental. For a while in my life I thought I had to please them. That I actually had to please them for my benefit to gain their acceptance. But thankfully, over the years I’ve learned that I don’t have to fit to people’s standards.
Because what others think about me doesn’t even come close to what I think of myself.
I’m really glad I learned this before it became a severe issue during the rest of my life. But I hope you know that you don’t have to be anyone you’re not and you don’t have to fall under anyone’s standards.
You know how I ultimately figured all of this out?
Once I wasn’t in the best mood. Blame me for having feelings and emotions. Someone asks me “Why I don’t smile enough.”
Once I was in a good mood. I was happy one day because I was with my friends. One of the people I casually talk to every other day asks me “Why I smile too much.”
Funny, huh? I’ve been told why I don’t smile enough and why I smile too much. Polar opposites of each other.
No matter what you do you can never please “them.” “They,” whoever they are, will always find a flaw in you. You have to learn to overcome it and not let it bother you. Even though I’ve overcome “standards”, people still tell me I’m too “this” or too “that.” But, I never let them win. I believe what I believe. I know what I am. Why should I please someone to achieve their standard of “perfect?” Perfect, like it or not, doesn’t exist. Nobody on this earth is perfect. Everybody has flaws, everybody makes mistakes. But when you’re the person to call someone else out on their “flaws” and you think they should fix it, that’s when you become the jerk. Don’t be the jerk. Don’t ask someone why they’re this way or that way. Worry about yourself. Believe that you’re you. You will always be you. Believe that no one’s opinion of you will overcome your opinion of you.