Snow and a Baby

I’m a day late for this post, I was supposed to write this yesterday January 17th, but I was up late studying.

No wait don’t leave yet I promise it’s a good post.

So the last time I wrote a post it was about my brokenness. I’m still broken but I’m doing better. Why?

First of all music. I don’t know where I would be without that one song, the one that will lift up your spirits once you discovered it. And I found the perfect song to lift me up in my deepest moment.

Then January 17th I was having a conversation with one of my friends and she said that it was snowing outside. I got really excited but I thought I had missed it because she said that it was snowing 30 minutes before I saw the text. But then I looked outside and I saw it.

Snow.

Snow was falling and ironically I was listening to the song that lifted me out of my brokenness while I started seeing it falling.

I don’t know why but I suddenly got this newfound feeling of hope.

This year it didn’t even feel like it would snow. Because in December it was like 70 degrees and this month it just seemed like it wasn’t going to come. It seemed impossible. But there I was watching what seemed like the impossible to me happen.

This made me feel more determined about what might seem like the impossible. Like me being completely happy in the future.

But this wasn’t the only thing that happened yesterday.

I was in my room studying and my grandma walked in giving me something and she said “Happy first day home!”

I was like what is she talking about? I didn’t go anywhere.

She told me that January 17th was the first day I came home after I was born. I was born on December 27th. You’re probably wondering why it took me 21 days to get home. Well I was a premature baby and I had trouble breathing because my lungs weren’t fully developed and they still aren’t.

I never knew it took me 21 days to get home, no one ever really told me. But I don’t think I needed to be told this information until yesterday.

I needed to be told that yesterday.

At 3 weeks old I was a fighter.

If 3 week old me was a fighter then 16 year old me can be a fighter.

3 week old baby me fought for her life for a reason. And that reason wasn’t to give up at 16. It was to live. To live a life some thought would be impossible because she was a tiny bean and could barely breathe. To live a life fulfilling everything she would want to be.

I remember when I was in 3rd grade I got pneumonia and I was in the hospital for a long time. It was hard for me to get rid of the infection because my immune system isn’t fully formed. But I somehow made it. My dad told me that I was almost going to die, it seemed like I was going to die. But I didn’t. This same thing happened last year and I made it through again.

If what seems like the impossible can happen, my future is possible.

If baby me fought for her life, this life, I can keep fighting. Not only for me but for that baby in me with the strength of a warrior. I can do it.

Think about it… If you’ve made it this far there’s a reason why, so don’t give up just yet.

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6 thoughts on “Snow and a Baby

  1. Aw this post is so beautiful and emotional. I’m so happy that you’re feeling like this. You CAN keep fighting, for however long you need to until you don’t need to anymore.

    Like

      • I’m sure it’s out there for you. It’s just a huge coincidence that mine came the day after my worst moment. It’s out there for you. You just have to keep moving forward. I just saw this quote on twitter for MLK day and it said “If you can’t fly, run. If you can’t run, walk. If you can’t walk, crawl. But whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

        Liked by 2 people

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