I think that we all wish that we could have do-overs.
You know, somehow go back to a moment and redo the whole thing so the odds ARE in your favor.
I wanted that.
For all the times I’ve made mistakes,
all the times that I was late,
all the times I didn’t say the right thing,
all the times where I didn’t know what to say (but finally figure out the perfect words hours later),
all the times that I’ve embarrassed myself,
all the times I didn’t cherish the little things,
all the times of judgement,
all the times that I didn’t stand up for myself,
or for someone I love,
all the times I could’ve changed something for the better,
all the chances I didn’t take,
all the times I made the wrong choice,
all the times that I’ve wasted on someone,
all the times I told a secret that I should have kept inside,
all the times where I should’ve been the bigger person,
all the times I didn’t understand,
I wish I knew the outcome of a choice so I could think of my alternatives and make a better judgement call.
I wish I didn’t want do-overs.
But I do.
I will always want them.
Sometimes moments will play back in my head where I wish that I could go back and play it out differently.
Play it out with the knowledge that I hold today.
But do-overs don’t exist.
There will always be haunting mistakes.
Even if they were mistakes that happened 0.5 seconds ago.
No matter how little the time frame we can never go back.
We can only go forward,
with the wishes of going backwards to make our forward look bigger.
But maybe our forward is bigger.
We just don’t see it because our head is turned backwards.