currently

I’m currently crying in a bathroom, and I don’t know why.

I don’t have anyone here.

I don’t know where to go or where to sit.

It feels like today I got dressed up for nothing.

Why am I like this?

I can’t ask anyone to sit with me.

There’s no one here.

Maybe this is part of my anxiety I don’t know.

What I do know is that I’m having another broken episode.

I can’t tell anyone.

How are you supposed to tell someone I wasn’t sitting anywhere I was in the bathroom crying my eyes out because I was too scared to ask someone if I could sit with them. I didn’t want to sit alone with a bunch of eyes looking at me. I didn’t want to tell my brother that I wasn’t sitting anywhere because he would just tell me to sit with an aunt or uncle, but I can’t do that.

I don’t want to sit with an aunt or uncle.

I just want to go home.

Where it’s safe.

My dad isn’t here.

I need my mom. But she’s getting help. I want her to get help, I need her to get help.

So I’m here crying in the bathroom, not even listening to the service because I don’t have anyone to sit with.

But I can’t tell anyone this because they wouldn’t understand why I didn’t just sit somewhere by myself.

They wouldn’t understand.

How can I live like this?

An hour has passed by.

An hour of me crying in the bathroom.

That’s going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

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9 thoughts on “currently

  1. Let’s develop a hobby… If you love arts. Try sketching. By the way I can understand your place of life. Just don’t do this to yourself. Hobbies are the best thing you can involve to ignore sorrows. I loved your work. Don’t stop writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It just hurts a lot. And when it hurts I don’t really have any motivation to do anything but lay in my bed and feel. But I don’t want to feel, becauae all I’ll feel is sadness. Thank you, I won’t stop writing, it’s my only outlet for my emotions.

      Liked by 1 person

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