My elders. My grandparents. My aunts and uncles. My parents. Those older than me. Those who have had more wiser years. Those who have seen things.
I want to learn from them.
Talking to my grandma today, I studied her face.
Her eyes. The wrinkles. The eye bags. I wonder how much she has seen. How much pain, how much strife she experienced. How many tears probably streamed onto her cheeks. I thought of her sister, my great-aunt, how much she cried. How much she probably still cries, not just for her but for all the loses she has experienced. How many people she has seen. How many she has met. I wonder how much her eyes have seen. The journeys, the adventure, even a little chaos.
Her hair. How black blends with gray, and over the years gray has taken over. You could notice that strands have already fallen out. Yet, she still takes care of her hair. Putting oil, combing through it, and putting it into two braids. Right and left. Nothing complicated, just two braids. Her curls that she combs through. The curls that are the by-product of my waves. Whenever I do a certain hairstyle, she always tells me she did that same hairstyle when she was younger. She always tells me how she thinks my hair is pretty.
Her arms. Her fingers. How they’ve grown wrinkly and somewhat weak. Her fingers are always shaking. Although her fingers seem weak, her arms seem to be strong to me. She does carry a lot. She’s always bringing food for us, while carrying two bags. I wonder how many times she’s had to lift herself up. Or has had to lift someone else up. How many times her hands have lifted, praying to the Lord, her best friend.
Her clothes. Her sari. Come to think of it, I can barely think of a time she doesn’t wear a sari. Other than, when she’s cooking or on vacation with us. No matter how old she gets, she can always wrap a sari gracefully without anything falling or looking out of place.
Her smile. I will always admire her for this. No matter what, she always has a smile on her face. Her laugh is so contagious. She never looks mad at me, even when I yell at her. In fact, just today, when I was feeling down, she told me that I should just smile. That happiness is what you need in life for it to be fulfilled. Her words. She really know what she’s saying. Even though some people might not see it that way. How much passion she has for the things that she loves. She was teaching me today about the Bible. Her eyes lit up. Her words flowed. She could literally talk about it for hours, and not get bored. That’s what amazes me. She’s so passionate about the things she loves and she that passion to teach others.
I’ve never noticed these things about my grandma before.
I never really looked at her.
But today, I looked and reflected.
I thought of how much she’s been through and although she only made it to 8th grade, she’s so wise. She has seen things. She has experienced a lot. She has met a lot of people. She has been through a whirlwind of change. She has fought. She has cried. She has questioned. She has just lived.
I love my grandma. And although she might not know it, she is a big role model for me. I just wish that someday my eyes will hold as much experience that I saw in her eyes today.
- Kill Em With Kindness – Selena Gomez
This song just needs to be shouted and sung all over the world. Especially during these days. Don’t kill them with hate. Kill em with kindness 🙂