Feelings: 9:46 pm

Today hasn’t been one of my best days, unfortunately.

All I can think about are the people I love, and how they probably don’t love me.

I think of my friends, and how they would probably be better off without me.

I think of life, and how it’s been repeatedly giving me darkness.

I think of happiness, and how it’s a complete joke. I’m happy for a minute and then something has to come and take it away.

I’m just not feeling good today, mentally.

My mind has just been clogging my whole day from any happiness.

I keep thinking and thinking and overthinking of things I KNOW aren’t true, but my mind somehow manipulate me into believing that it’s true.

Of course, these thoughts have happened before, but it feels different.

I feel incomplete.

I see my friends, on their snapchat story, always having fun. Smiling. Enjoying life.

I see random people having the ability to live a carefree life without any worries or doubts.

I’m just really tired.

I hate bottling my feelings inside, I almost tried to stop myself from writing this. But, hiding my feelings will never help. It’ll just kill me inside.

I just want these thoughts to stop.

I want my mind to stop concluding that people aren’t texting me because they don’t love me and don’t have time for me.

I want to stop believing that I don’t deserve happiness and this hope is just going to be hopeless in the future.

I want to stop being my worst enemy.

I just want life to stop. I just need a break from my thoughts.

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10 thoughts on “Feelings: 9:46 pm

  1. I understand how this hurts. But know that we do love you, and always will. You may feel in adequate, empty, and you may just want this to stop, but without you, so many people would mourn. Living a carefree life is not easy, in fact, many people can’t do it. What you need to do is try to make yourself feel just a tiny bit better, and anyway you can. And we’ll be here

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah…sounds so much like me as a teenager. But as I grew older, I found happiness in my achievements.

    Find something you’re good at it, and keep working at it. Your success will validate you, preventing you from needing validation from someone else. At least…that’s what worked for me.

    We’re all good at something. Take some time to figure out what that is, and make it shine for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey that really sucks that you are having such a terrible day. But I hope that you feel better soon. No one leads a carefree life and those who seem happy and perfect aren’t always that way. Maybe read a book or draw or exercise to keep your mind busy and not to over think. 💟💟💟

    Like

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