You DON’T Need Affirmation to Feel Proud of Yourself

Sometimes, as punishment, teachers tell their students who have disobeyed to write a single phrase over and over and over again. Like “I was wrong” or “I will not interrupt during class again.” The point of this was that the disobedient student will get so tired of writing the same phrase over and over again it will get so annoying and physically excruciating they won’t do the bad thing they did again.

In a similar way, I want to tell you a phrase that should be burned into your brain, not because you did something bad or good. You just NEED to hear this:

We don’t need affirmation from people to feel proud of ourselves or of our accomplishments.

Yep bold and underlined, that’s how you know it’s really really important.

I always look for affirmation in others which just lead me to getting hurt because I expected too much.

The other day, my friend and I were doing this separate art thing where we drew anything that we wanted. My friend is known for having the art bone infused in her body, while I definitely do not. So I wanted to draw a girl crying, and I tried so hard. Not to sound cocky or egotistical, but I thought that my eye and the teardrops were actually pretty good. So when I asked my friend, “Does this look good?” She just nodded her head seemingly uninterested, “Yeah it looks fine.” And this made my opinion of it go from “Wow it actually looks pretty good” to “Is it that bad?” Then 10 minutes later she asked me how a drawing of her hand was, she looked for affirmation in me. Could I give it to her?

But why is it that when we feel good about something we need to look for our opinion in others? Why isn’t our own opinion enough?

Well there are a lot of answers to that.

But we’re not focusing on that, we’re focusing on the fact that we never feel good enough about our self or our accomplishments.

We always search for verification of:”Is it good enough?” “Did YOU like it?”

Why does it matter so much to us what they think?

No, of course it’s not bad to ask for other’s opinions of your work, but you shouldn’t depend so much on THEIR opinion that it becomes YOUR opinion.

If you were proud of it at first, YOU SHOULD STAY proud of it. No matter what they said.

What matters is your opinion.

What if we took this in the other direction. Instead of seeking favor of our accomplishments, what about favor of ourselves?

What if you think that you looked pretty today? You look in the mirror and you smile and you compliment yourself and you’re happy, then you exit the house and hope that people will notice your beauty.

What if no one does?

Will you suddenly think that you don’t actually look all that pretty?

Please don’t base your opinions on other people’s opinions. There’s a reason we have opinions, to hold different view and beliefs from other people.

I know it’s hard, it’s hard for me too. That’s why I have to keep repeatedly say it over in my head:

We don’t need affirmation from people to feel proud of ourselves or of our accomplishments.

We don’t need affirmation from people to feel proud of ourselves or of our accomplishments.

We don’t need affirmation from people to feel proud of ourselves or of our accomplishments.



4 thoughts on “You DON’T Need Affirmation to Feel Proud of Yourself

  1. This is a great post! This is something I’m working on myself. 8 don’t want my self worth to be linked or tied to anyone else. I want to be able to ignore the looks or comments and just feel proud of myself. This takes a lot of work and self reflection but in the end I believe it will be extremely beneficial. Xo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I struggle so much with this whole thing; I feel like if people don’t like me, or appreciate me, I feel worthless. This post really helped me; thank you! xx

    Liked by 1 person

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