I Don’t Know.

Have you ever had that feeling?

That feeling after finishing a good book.

That feeling of your favorite singer quitting the business.

That feeling after a character dies in a book or on a show.

That feeling of watching a great movie that has no sequel.

I chose all these examples because they might not seem big or real to you, but once you feel them they hurt.

I want to talk about something that really hurts that might not seem big to you, but is huge for me.

I don’t mean to sound over dramatic or anything, I just want to write out my feelings on this subject because although it might seem ridiculous it breaks my heart knowing this is real.

So, my favorite band is Fifth Harmony.

They’re my role models. They inspire me so much. They’re so beautiful. They give me so much happiness. Their music just brightens my day.

Well today they made an announcement that one of the five members of the group are leaving to pursue a solo career.

At first, I thought it was a joke… and now it’s kind of hard to believe.

I’ve been there ever since their first performance on XFactor and it just seems… unreal.

I feel empty inside, and yes it’s because of this.

I mean being there from the beginning to watching everything slowly break into pieces is hard.

It’s really difficult for me to type out my feelings because it feels like no one cares and it’s not a “real matter.” I mean I would get it, it’s just a band. It’s nothing. But it’s something to me and I just want to talk about it somewhere.

I’m ok for moments but then there are just these intervals of pain where it hits me. This is real.

And it sucks. Because I was hoping to see them ALL perform once I learned how to drive and made some money of my own, but now I’ll never get the chance to do that.

It’s just an odd feeling. It hurts and I don’t know what to do to fix it because it’s not an everyday hurt. It’s not a situation where I can convince myself that everything will be ok. Because it won’t be.

Nothing will ever be the same.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. So I just wrote it down into words. But it didn’t help.

And listening to this hurts. Physically, emotionally, and mentally.