Turning 17

The first day of being seventeen honestly hasn’t been pretty.

I’m not even going to sugarcoat it and say that I had the best birthday ever, it was actually the exact opposite.

I had a mental breakdown in front of my family (while we were trying to light the cake) and I said “I don’t want to do this.”

My dad is in India, and I thought I could handle him gone on my birthday but everything else in my day just piled up, like… My best friend said that she could come over to give me my present but she couldn’t stay and celebrate. My cousin was working. My mom was having one of her bad days and she didn’t take her medicine, so she yelled at me for ruining everything and for crying.

The only reason I didn’t lose my sanity was because my brother was there. He listened to my tearful confessions and he was there to listen to me just let it all out even though I just stared into space crying for a straight 20 minutes; he didn’t care he just let me have my space. He sat there with me and he didn’t leave until I was ready.

He’s the reason I’m not in my hole of darkness right now.

After 20 minutes of crying I told him that I was hungry and we ate food with our grandparents.

I blew the candles, cut the cake, and fed it to my brother, my grandma, and my grandpa.

After that everything was fine. I even got to work on my music.

No my birthday wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t even close to it. But sometimes I have to just remind myself that even if my world seems like it’s breaking apart I will always have someone to hold me up when I’m down.

And that was my brother and my grandparents.

I’m not perfectly ok and happy right now, I mean writing everything down sort of reminisced everything and I realized that this was actually my crappy 17th birthday. But, like my brother told me I have to “roll with the punches.”