So I have many things to tell you guys, in fact, something happened this morning that I really want to talk about but of course, I never typed up this blog post and I’m a day late so I have to tell you what happened yesterday today, and today’s is reserved for tomorrow.
So yesterday I had a day off from school because it was the end of the semester. I thought that I would do nothing, maybe I would just sit at home watching a movie. But doing nothing was definitely the opposite of what I actually did.
My dad has been very adamant about me getting my driver’s license because he’s worried considering both him and my mom are getting older. He just wants me to get it so I can drive, I feel the same way but I’m lazy so…. lol.
Well, I have this uncle who taught my brother to drive because my dad is always working and busy. And this uncle apparently teaches a lot of people how to drive. So when I told my dad I had a day off he said he would call this uncle. When he did call, my dad told me that my uncle was free today and my anxiety was like “What? No not today. I’m not prepared.” So when my dad asked me if I wanted to go my anxiety really wanted to say no, but I haven’t practiced driving since November. It was time, Rebecca. So after I slowly nodded my head yes to my dad my uncle texted me and said he would come over at 1.
I took a shower and got ready and started getting the regular heart palpitations. When the uncle came to my house with his car my anxiety was kind of at a high level… ok not kind of it was. So I said bye to my mom and my dad told me to be safe and he said to tell the uncle that I’ve never been on the road before.
I’m sorry… what?
The road? I was going on the road?
Father, we’ve only practiced in parking lots and now I’m going on the road with this uncle? Well… it was nice knowing you, dad.
Of course, I didn’t say this to my dad but I was thinking about it.
I thought that my uncle would drive us to the place where we would practice, but as soon as I got out of the house he immediately sat in the passenger seat. Ok. Ok. Ok. I have no idea how my anxiety was managing… it wasn’t.
So from the outside, his car didn’t look old, but from the inside… Have you ever heard of those cars that had windows that you had to roll down with one of those hand cranks? Yep, he had that. It was funny at first because I was like “Woah what is this?”But after all that introductory stuff we started driving.
I kinda hoped that my dad was lying and we wouldn’t actually drive on the road. But when my uncle told me to drive straight, towards the exit of my neighborhood, I knew my dad was DEFINITELY not lying. My first moment of driving onto the road. Here I go.
I was nervous. Very very nervous. I even told my uncle this… Well, he asked me if I was scared and I answered in my most nervous voice “Yes.” But then he comforted me by saying he was right here and if anything happened he would be right there so that kind of eased my anxiety a little bit.
Guys, IT WAS SO FUN. It actually felt so cool to be able to drive in real traffic and be able to do it without the worry of doing something wrong. I went past my school, my doctor’s office, all these landmarks that my parents usually drive me to, I passed. It just made things surreal.
After an hour, my uncle told me to pull up to a building and I was so confused. He told me to park and then I thought this was him switching seats with me and he would drive us to my house. But no. He said he was going to go get his son.
I’m sorry….What? (again)
Your son? I can’t even account for my own life… You’re trusting me on driving with your little preschool son in the car?
I had a good 15 minutes to freak out alone in the car, while my uncle got his son.
Don’t worry everything turned out okay. We drove to my uncle’s dad’s place to drop off his son and then we would drive to my house so I can go home.
I drove for 2 complete hours. Which was new for me. I usually only drove for one hour.
So I really need to work on turning and staying in the lane that I’m in. But other than that I did pretty good. Whenever I did something right my uncle said beautiful and that really helped me a lot… like really you think my driving is beautiful? … he probably says that to the other people that he helps learn to drive but still it made me feel better about myself and made my anxiety feel ok.
I love my dad, but I like my uncle as a driving teacher. I mean my dad yells at me a lot when driving, especially his favorite word, “Brake. BRake. BRAkE. BRAKE!!” It was just nice not to hear yelling and to feel calm and okay.
When I got home, I’m not embarrassed to admit this lol, I was s.w.e.a.t.i.n.g. a lot and I didn’t even realize because I was wearing a coat. But everything turned out okay. My uncle told me that he would keep in touch so we can practice more.
It was so cool driving onto the road. I’m not really scared anymore of driving. I mean I’m scared when I’m behind the wheel but I know how to control the car more now and that kind of comforts me. I still have a long way to go because I have 8 hours out of the minimum 60 but now I feel like I might have a little less anxiety after this experience.
«Music Friday (a day late)»
Fairly Local by Twenty One Pilots
Ride by Twenty One Pilots
So I’ve been really obsessed with Twenty One Pilots lately. Their music is one thing… but their lyrics. It’s like they know exactly what I’m feeling. If you’ve ever felt alone or you feel like you’re losing a battle with your mind you should definitely go listen to them.