I don’t know if any of you read my post yesterday, but in it, I said that I had to do everything a day late. So all the stuff that happened in this post actually happened yesterday.
And yes you read that title right.
My best friend is a 16-year-old and she literally makes me laugh so much. We’ve been friends since Kindergarten so that makes it 12 years. So if anyone ever hurts her they hurt me and I will want to fight. These are the feelings I had yesterday.
I feel like I should give you some background on the “jerk.” So this guy is a very weird person. Not personality-wise but something else wise. I just had a weird feeling about him. Okay, I don’t know why but he just talked to me one day. My brother is a youth leader at my church’s Sabbath school program. So the guy started talking to me because I was my brother’s sister…. Great way to start being friends…
Anyway, one day he just started talking to me during sabbath school. Can we give him a name? Idk maybe… (I hate him with all my guts so it’s not gonna be a pretty name…) You know what he just gets the name “T” because he doesn’t deserve creativity or anything. T is the capital letter of his name. You know I hate hating people so this situation is really serious for me.
So T just starts becoming friends with me. I don’t know why, but he just starts giving me hugs and starts talking to me like we’ve known each other for a long time. I see him here and there at church. Our church has this summer program for student service learning hours that involves taking cares of kids. So my best friend and I … Let’s give my best friend the name Luna, which is a star name. So, Luna and I do the summer program every year. But, this year T has chosen to do it too. T is a college student. I think he’s in his second year of college. T starts talking to me during the program while I’m with Luna and our other friends and he hugs me sometimes. I think it’s casual… I guess.
Luna and I are helping to decorate the church for the program. Then T comes and says that he’s bored and he starts hanging out with us. Of course, nothing suspicious there. Fast forward to the end of the week when the program is over and T puts his number into Luna’s phone. Of course, I see nothing wrong with this. But I got kind of hurt because I’ve been friends with him for a while and I didn’t even have his number. I didn’t want his number but I mean aren’t we friends too, man? And then because my friend is 16 and he’s 19 (I think?) his friends were yelling/joking with him saying “Why are you putting your number into a 15 (at the time) year old’s phone. Of course, my friend and I thought nothing of it. But there was definitely something of it.
A few months in, T texts her; I think at the beginning he texted her a lot. But he was creepy.
Like I’ve been in this situation before in 9th grade and it was with one of my friends. He was cool… but when he was texting he was a c.r.e.e.p. Long story short he found out he creeped me out and my friendship with the guy was never the same.So I used that situation to advise my friend. But Luna is so innocent and pure, she never sees the other side of people. She honestly believes in the good in people and doesn’t think they have another side, that side is something you would only see on a dramatic tv show.
But T was just going beyond the line. He wished her a happy birthday but he called her “babe.” And he always texted my friend when he saw her at church, wanting to meet her alone for a “hug.” Again, I have to add that my friend is innocent and she really thought all he wanted was a hug. There were other things that made it weird but I really can’t remember them right now. I thought that with all these things he was interested in her, my friend thought the same thing but never thought anything of it. I thought something of it.
My friend is really brave. She, herself, told him that he creeped her out and was being weird. That she’s not comfortable with “babe” and everything else he said. She clarified that she’s never dated anyone and she doesn’t want a boyfriend and she’s never kissed anyone. She said this to him a few months ago.
But he used it against her. He used what she told him to his advantage.
Afer Luna clarifies all that, T doesn’t text her all that much. I was perfectly fine with that. I wasn’t really friends with T after this, because he creeped out my best friend and he creeped me out. I mean when my creep-o-meter goes off (Yes, I just used the term creep-o-meter and it’s an actual word that doesn’t have a red line under it) it stays that way forever. Luna always questioned me why I didn’t like him as a friend anymore; like whenever Luna and I saw him at church I wouldn’t reciprocate his hugs. I was suspicious of him. She believed that after she clarified things with him their friendship was secure. I still had my doubts. I mean once someone shows you a side of them self, that’s them. They’re not going to change. So even though she believed he would stop with his “hints” I still thought that he liked her and was trying to get her. I tried saying that boys don’t just forget their feelings, they act upon them.
That’s exactly what he did.
So on to the story. Yesterday as Luna and I sit down in church T texts her wanting to meet. We see him go down the stairs, during the church service, towards the hallway. Of course, Luna being the kind bean that she is goes to meet him. She asks him why he wants to meet and he says “Hug lol.” That liar.
So she goes.
I don’t know if I should be feeling this. But maybe it’s my fault. I let her go alone. I shouldn’t have. I should’ve gone with her. Maybe then I could have prevented what happened. I should’ve been there to protect her. But this story isn’t about me.
Luna is gone for 10 minutes. After 5 minutes I get wary, I get my phone and text her “Are you sure it’s just a hug?” I regret that text now. I had the feeling to go look for her but I wouldn’t know where she would be. What kind of hug takes 10 minutes? My anxiety starts creeping in.
She comes back and I can feel her breathing hard and her pulse racing. I take her to the bathroom because we really need to talk. As soon as we get to the bathroom she rinses her mouth and spits.
No. NO he did not. He didn’t. HE couldn’t have. NO.
I asked her, “Why are you rinsing your mouth?” But of course, I already knew the answer. The jerk kissed her.
THAT jerk kissed her.
She couldn’t go into complete details, but he kissed her. The rest of the church service she put her head on my shoulder. My shoulder was aching but I would let her rest her head on my shoulder for hours if that made her feel ok. I wanted to punch that jerk. And you know what? He had the audacity to text her asking if he can see her at the end of church. And he said “Hey” to her as we left church. You guys did not want to know what I was feeling.
Later in the afternoon, I go to her house to watch a movie and she gives me everything in detail.
He told her he was tired so he asked her to go on a walk. They’re in the lowest level of the church. Where nobody is. Luna is still so innocent. She said she tried to leave through some doors but he grabbed her arm and hugged her. She said that he hugged her numerous times then it happened. He kissed her. And she didn’t push him off. I know, I asked why she didn’t interject or push him away or ask him why. But she didn’t know what to do. She never expected herself to be in a situation like this. EVER. She didn’t know what to do so she just let it happen.
That’s the gist of what happened.
You know what the worst part is? Luna thinks it’s her fault. She thinks it’s her fault that she didn’t push him off. Maybe some of you might think it is her fault, but she didn’t know at all what to do. She was “in the moment,” I don’t think any of our brains would work in that kind of situation. But ultimately, it’s not her fault, nor will it ever be. He knew what he was doing. That jerk knew what he was doing.
A hug… he knew what he was doing going into the lower level. He knew what he was doing considering she told him a few months prior that she’s never had her first kiss. He knew what he was doing being a sophomore in college taking advantage of a 16-year-old minor. He knew what he was doing and he took advantage of my best friend’s kindness and friendship.
I just can’t with this guy. He stole her first kiss. My best friend and I were supposed to have our first kisses and vent about them to each other. How the guy brushed my hair behind my ear, or he held her hand something… Idk something you see on tv. But no, we don’t get to have that moment. All she gets to do is recount the interaction with someone she never liked like that.
You know what I noticed while she was telling me the story? Her hands were shaking and her voice was trembling. Trembling. He took something from her and she won’t be able to recount her “first kiss” as a happy story.
I absolutely hate his guts. I actually texted him from her phone telling him not to text her again and I’m really glad that I stood up for my best friend. He thought a simple “sorry” over texting could fix everything. He thinks what he did was perfectly fine. He knows my best friend. He knows her kindness.
Luna, her being the person that she is, she hopes that he’ll forget the whole thing and the friendship will return to the way it was. But things will never return to how they were. He set something in motion that can’t be re-winded.
She feels like she has to apologize. She feels like she owes him kindness. She feels the need to feel guilty for not stopping it.
I don’t want to hurt him just for what he did… not completely anyway. I want to hurt him for what he made her feel. She texted me this morning mentioning it again and said “What if I see him at church? What if he’s mad and I’m alone with him?”
She’s scared and he did that to her. She’s scared because she doesn’t know the person that he is anymore and he’ll hurt her. All she gave him was kindness and this is what she receives in return.
The thing that irks me is that he’ll just walk carefree in church with nobody knowing what he did, except for the two of us.
Guys: Never doubt your gut feeling, it’s there for a reason.