Thank you to the people who have forgotten all about me.
Thank you to the people who have constantly let me down.
Thank you to the people who make promises they know they’re not going to keep.
Thank you to the people who constantly break me down and add fuel to my anxiety.
Thank you to the people who think I need their opinions and acceptance to feel beautiful or at least worth something.
Thank you to the people who have torn me down.
Thank you to the people who don’t talk to me or care about me anymore.
Thank you to those who only show up once in a year and pretend that everything’s ok. That it was ok to leave me in the dust.
Thank you to the people who think it’s ok that my feelings get hurt. Or the ones who don’t even give a second thought to my feelings.
Thank you to the people who made me think that happiness is something I can’t have.
Thank you. Just thank you.
Thank you to the fake ones who have never cared once about me.
Or the ones who have cared and just pulled me along the way carrying false perceptions to the person that they really are.
I really, completely, honestly mean thank you. Maybe that two-word phrase should be a different two-word phrase with the first word beginning with an “F.” But no. It’s not. It will never be. I’m not being sarcastic.
I literally want to thank these people. Why?
Because they have broken me. They have hurt me. They have caused me pain. I’m thankful for all the anxiety they’ve given me.
I’m thankful for the brokenness because it’s made me who I am.
Without their consistent need to break my heart and disregard my feelings, I would be nowhere.
I wouldn’t be strong. I wouldn’t find a resilience. I wouldn’t feel the need to rise up out of the ashes.
I would be nowhere without these people, without this pain.
I might even be the same innocent girl I was 3 years ago. Thinking that the world is perfect and nothing bad will ever happen.
Thank you, because without these people I wouldn’t have standards. I wouldn’t believe so much in things. I wouldn’t be passionate about anything, about myself. I wouldn’t feel the need to shine, and fly after falling. I wouldn’t feel the need to find hope.
Without these people, I wouldn’t be me.
I wouldn’t have broken myself down to a point where I just want to crawl into a hole. I wouldn’t feel the need to rise above and be strong. I would think that the world is full of people who’ll have your back.
But this is the truth: it’s not. Everyone isn’t good with good intentions. There are fake people. Who can and will take advantage of you.
Without these fake people in my life, I would not be as strong as I am today.
I don’t know how many reasons I need to state to make this opinion a fact. I just hope that you, those who are reading this, understand that…
There are going to be people who will leave your life. Everyone isn’t going to stay. People might even break your heart, whether intentionally or unintentionally. It’s going to happen. But it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s going to break you down. Down to a point where you just want to give up. But do not. Do not give these people the satisfaction of giving up. If you’re experiencing this moment, congratulations. Seriously: Congratulations! You’re being given a chance to show life who you really are. A fighter or not. You’re being given the chance to open the door to who you really are. It might hurt like hell and back just to get over this, but trust me, please, it’s going to be worth it in the end.
You’re going to be strong, brave, and beautiful. You were all these things way before any of this happened, but this is the moment where you realize that you actually are these things.
I know it’s hard, but it’s going to get better. I know that this is a generic term but this week has literally been me trying to figure out what I did wrong with someone and how I can take it back and turn back the chain of events. But ultimately, I can’t go back I can’t fix things. I can only feel. And I wasn’t ok, I still don’t think I’m perfectly ok.
I just need some time. But either way, it has made me stronger. It has opened my eyes in a way that I can’t describe. Things like this happen for a reason. Please don’t tell me you at least don’t think that things in your life happened because they’re part of something greater because everything is too connected for it not to make sense.
People are put in your life for a reason. And that reason is to either stay and give you love or leave and give you a lesson.
Please don’t give up. I know the pain. You can either dwell on the mistakes and be stuck forever or you can move on, thank the people and be the person you’re meant to become.
It’s your decision. But never forget, no matter what, you will always be brave, strong, and beautiful.
Nothing can change that.
«Music Friday (a day late)»
Down by Marian Hill
Let It Go by James Bay
Say You Won’t Let Go by James Arthur