the conclusion of falling.

(the beginning.)

I fell too hard.

I fell too deep.

But it’s not all my fault.

You’re to blame too.

I didn’t ask you to break down my walls.

I never told you to trust me.

I didn’t push to be your friend.

But you did.

Why did you want this?

I thought I could handle this,

but I can’t.

Because while I’m chasing after you,

you’ll always be chasing after her.

And I can’t handle that.

I can’t just be your friend.

I can’t just look at you and feel nothing.

And it might take me some time,

but I want to move on.

Becuase I can’t wait for someone who waits for someone else.

I don’t know why you wanted me as a friend,

I still don’t know why.

I don’t know why my heart fell for you,

but it did.

I will do all I can to keep this friendship going,

and to keep my heart beating.

Even if that means breaking it a little bit to erase your name,

from its clutches.

Because a guy like you shows up all the time.

But a friend like you is hard to find.

Maybe this isn’t the way I would choose it.

But I would rather have my heart break a little,

then break altogether.

It might take weeks to get over you,

or it might take months.

But I’m doing what’s best for me.

Maybe you’re not the one,

my heart needs.

Over the past few days,

I wondered what the point all of this was.

To fall for you, and just have it all go to waste.

But I’m happy that I fell.

I guess that I am.

I forgot what it was like to be happy for someone special to notice you.

I forgot what it was like to get a little jump in your heart.

I forgot what it was like to develop a relationship.

I forgot what it was like to think of the things you like about someone and get an immediate smile on your face.

I forgot how a simple stare and smile could affect you.

I forgot what it was like to fall.

If you didn’t show up,

I would still be hung up over a jerk.

And that’s not something I would want.

So thank you,

for being someone I could fall for.

And for showing me,

that I’m capable of finding someone special after being unable to for a long time.

Thank you for showing me what it’s like to fall.

Things didn’t turn out the way I would’ve liked them too

because you never felt the same way about me.

But I’m thankful that you were able to bring my heart into the light for a little bit.

Now, it’s time to move on,

because my heart can’t stick on you for too long.

I fell,

maybe I’m still falling.

But this time is different.

This time,

I won’t let gravity do its job.

«Music Friday»

Issues by Julia Michaels

Let It All Go by Birdy + RHODES

Empty by Olivia O’Brien

Beauty and the Beast (From “Beauty and the Beast”) – Ariana Grande & John Legend

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3 thoughts on “the conclusion of falling.

  1. I have tears in my eyes because you’re so, so strong. I’m sorry that things didn’t work out how you want but you got great feelings out of it and he’s an amazing guy. Keep going, okay? Let yourself fall again one day because you deserve to feel happy. Feelings or falling is never wasteful because at the end of the day, you have new experiences and you felt happiness. That can be worth a thousand avalanches of the heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Elm ❤ thank you for telling me the truth. Falling might not always turn out great, but the experience and the happiness of it showed me that I’m opening myself to someone and letting down my walls. My heart is still a little bruised and I still have feelings for him but hopefully things will get better.How many times have I already thanked you for being an amazing support system?

      Liked by 1 person

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