I’m sensitive when it comes to my driving.
Driving is basically a skill.
I’ve been practicing this skill for 2 and a half? years now.
I would say I’m pretty good and I have DEFINITELY improved.
No one really taught me how to parallel park or reverse park into a specific driveway (like the one I have) I learned that on my own (with the help of my non-driving cousin) so I would say that’s an achievement.
And as you become a driver, a lot of new anxieties come to play.
And there are so many different ranges of anxieties that I’m just gonna focus on one today…
Driving other people/friends.
So as I started out this post: “I’m sensitive when it comes to driving.”
I mean, think about it, you don’t wanna be that driver that NO ONE wants to drive with, in the car.
If it were that way, it’s like they’re doubting your ability or taking away shreds of your achievements.
I have this friend who I drive with sometimes.
She’s actually the only person, apart from my cousin, I’ve driven alone with (my parents recently let me drive alone).
Whenever I drive and she’s in the passenger seat, it’s chill. There was actually one time I was getting out of the parking lot and I noticed I got better at driving and I said it out loud and she was like “You did!”
But then the next day or a couple days later if we’re with other people or something and she tells them that I drove she’ll say “We almost crashed.” And she’ll say it in a way that our other friends will believe her.
I didn’t take it in a bad way… until she said it every time we drove together.
And then today, I was talking to her on the phone. I was saying how she needs to get her license soon and that I’ve actually never seen her drive. And then she says: At least I know I’m better than you. (Or something along those lines I don’t remember word for word whoopsss, trust me, I’m credible)
That, of course, hurt.
But I let it go.
But of course, now those words want to haunt me as I’m trying to go to bed. These overwhelming thoughts sure do love to come at the perfect time!!!
And now it’s the only words I can replay over and over in my brain.
Now you see why I’m sensitive about my driving?
Because it’s something I’ve worked hard on.
My driving instructors all fell asleep while teaching me to drive because they had nothing more to teach me at the time and the only thing keeping me away from a license was the 1 and a half year time limit.
I had to be taught driving by my Indian father who tends to scream and get anxious… A LOT. So the fact that he only maybe screams three times whenever I drive nowadays, is an accomplishment.
I once drove 2 hours on the highway going from state to state because my parents needed me too.
All this hard work makes me a good driver.
So why am I doubting myself because of one friend’s opinion? (Or they may be jokes, I don’t know my sensitive side is speaking)
Maybe it’s because not only my opinion matters. The opinion of others matter too.
It’s like when you make food.
You’re biased to your own concoction. But when you ask others to taste it, that’s when your credibility comes in.
That’s when you can say “I make great egg fried rice!” (And yes my egg fried rice is the bomb, but notttt the pointtt)
I’m trying to figure out something hopeful to say to wrap this whole post up (you know, the Rebecca trademark) but I honestly don’t know how to end without sounding biased or something.
I don’t know. I mean it was only a couple of months ago before my parents let me drive where, whenever I drove, I would pinpoint certain things I did that I had to improve. I still sort of do that, but since I drive longer than 10 minutes now it’s not something I dwell on like I did so much back then.
Driving is just really… complex.
Some of us drive, some of us don’t.
Some of us are skilled, some of us need more practice (which isn’t a bad thing).
And some of us get offended of other people’s critiques, and some of us don’t (which I really envy).
But that’s just life.
I’m not gonna ultimately stop driving just because my friend says this stuff. Maybe they are just jokes and I’m taking them lightly because I worked hard to be at a good level.
Whatever it is, the great thing about life is that none of us are masters of anything. Not even anything we love or study. We learn something new every day. There’s new information that comes up and is discovered every day. We’re constantly learning and growing.
And as long as we allow ourselves to learn and grow, that’s something no one can ever make us feel bad about.