What I’ve Been Listening to this Week– Album Review (Fifth Harmony)

So I wanted to try something new on my blog: An album review!

Have you guys ever fallen in love with a whole musical album? Like every song contributes perfectly together. There are times when I just listen to an album non-stop for a whole week because it’s that good.

I’d never thought of doing this until I listened to this certain album and I definitely want to do it in the future because it’s fun to talk about the things you love with no filter.

So I’ve been listening to this album since it came out (August 25th) because if anyone knows me they know I love this band with a passion.

The album I’ve been listening to is: Fifth Harmony (self-titled album)

This album is definitely for someone who needs a boost of confidence or just needs an energy lifter. What I like about this album is that it doesn’t sound like thrown-up pop sounds. They are pop melodies but it’s mixed with urban sounds and everything is just cohesive and fits. No song is too jumpy nor is it too soft. They really have improved over the years; they maintained a sound that carries on throughout their whole album.

And they finally had creative control! They got to co-write songs and got involved in the whole process. Their songs really uplift me whenever I feel down. (So, of course, I’m not gonna say anything bad about it) If you’re in your feelings about something: feel whatever you need to feel then listen to this album and you’ll feel so much confident afterward.

Album Review: Fifth Harmony (Keep in mind it is explicit. There are two songs that are explicit: Angel and Lonely Night)

(Keep in mind it is explicit. There are two songs that are explicit: Angel and Lonely Night)

Tracklist:

  • Down ft. Gucci Mane

(Lol, the funny thing about this is that whenever Gucci says “It’s Gucci” I thought he was saying scooch. And I keep singing it that way)

This is the first song they released after Camila left the band. This is an all-around fun song. You can just turn it on and you immediately jam to it. The vocals go together with all the beats and sounds. I really like listening to the background sounds because the beats aren’t too hard like some pop music these days. The chorus is very infectious but it’s one of those songs that are on repeat for a good reason.

It’s a love song that talks about no matter what you’re gonna love the person. And, Normani (one of the members) said that the group”kind of connect with each other because we’ve been through so much and we’ve always held each other ‘Down’.”

Favorite Lyric: Need somebody with some patience // ‘Cause you know I got a temperament // And yeah, you got a reputation // Nothin’ that a little love can’t fix

  • He Like That

This is another fun song. We all know there is no male counterpart in my life (and NO I do not need one) but I still like singing along to this song because it’s very catchy. Literally, anything that comes out of the girls’ mouths sounds like heaven to me. But their vocals really have improved and are showcased more. It’s just a fun let-loose song to dance to.

  • Sauced Up

This is another song where the vocals mix well together with the beats. Also, another let-loose song to just remind you to have fun. Who cares about the consequences? We’re young. Like this is one of those roll down the windows, jamming in the car songs.

Favorite Lyric: We can get sauced up // Forever we’re young, we’ll never get old

  • Make You Mad

This is the sass song of the century! Lol. I think as teens we care too much about people not liking us for who we are whether it be sassy or loud with a tad bit of (some might say) obnoxious. So it’s like: Oh I made you mad? So what?

With the way the song starts out, you don’t expect the chorus to drop like it does and it’s a very lovely surprise for your ears.

Favorite Lyric: I’m gonna make you miss me // I’m gonna make you go mad // I’m gonna make sure I’m the best you ever had

  • Deliver

This song definitely has Mariah Carey vibes to it. It is “THE” R&B song on the album. It just takes you back but still manages to keep you in the present. Don’t even get me started on their harmonies throughout it… so beautiful.

Plus, their music video for this is super aesthetic with the black-and-white tones… it’s pleasing to the eyes.

  • Lonely Night

Aghhhh this is one of my two favorites! It’s such a good song and so relatable at the moment. It’s one of those “feel good” anthems. Especially if you have a person you can picture singing this song too. It makes that situation 100x better.

I love the message. Because in this society, we live in a world where we excuse behaviors of the one we really like. Even if that behavior is super jerky and rude. We excuse it because we think that significant other is our one and only but in this song, the girls are singing, “If you do this, boy it’s gonna be a lonely night for you.”

I especially love the “bye bye” part lol.

Favorite Lyric: If you don’t treat ya mama right, bye-bye, bye-bye // If you got another chick on the side, bye-bye, bye-bye // You look everywhere but my eyes, bye-bye, bye-bye

  • Don’t Say You Love Me

This song. Oh my gosh, this song. I have no words. Literally. It’s so beautiful. I don’t know what else to say.

The lyrics. Oh my gosh, the lyrics are so relatable. Especially right now. It’s like they reading what’s coming from my heart and singing it in a song.

Their vocals. The emotion. The message. But my favorite part is that it’s not too soft that it messes with the whole vibe of the album, but it still manages to be so emotional and heart-tugging.

Favorite Lyric: (Literally I can’t pick a favorite. I want to put the majority of the song here. But I gotta lol) I need a little bit more // I need a little bit more // You gotta know what it’s like // I know you been here before // I’ve been waiting, I’ve been patient // But I need a little bit more

  • Angel

I love the chronological order of this album. Lol literally the song prior to this takes your heart out of its chest and puts you in your feelings and then this song reminds you “Nah they’re not worth it. They never got to know the real you.”

The message of this song is important. It’s about how everything starts out cool with someone and then as time passes on you realize they’re not worth it. They never got to know you. They only go to know the perception of you. The “Angel.” When there’s so much more to you.

The beats in this song are so catchy. I especially love the 2nd verse when Ally raps because it makes me want to sing along (as if I could rap).

It just makes your confidence go up 100 times more after the heartfelt song. Like, okay, we needed to get to the feelings and then… Nah you’re so much more than the heartbreak.

Favorite Lyric: Wasn’t tryna spend my life on the phone with ya // Gotta keep it on one hundred with ya // The original me wouldn’t fuck with ya // And I was beginning to fuck with ya

  • Messy 

The message of this song… It’s very true for most girls and boys, pretty much any person in a relationship. How no one is ever perfect when it comes to being in a relationship with something. This song is basically like: “I’m messy. That’s who I am.” It talks about how we’re not perfect but that’s okay. It’s okay to be messy.

Favorite Lyric: I’ll tell you straight how I feel with no filter // No touchin’ up what you see, there’s no filter // I can be cruel sometimes, outta my mind // Insecure and out the door // I am who I am and you won’t have to wonder

  • Bridges

This is the song the whole world needs to hear. It’s about Trump’s walls and how we should build “bridges and not walls.” This is the perfect way to end the album. I’m so happy they got to be able to write and talk about this. The song is so beautiful and when you hear it you feel so motivated and it touches your soul. The first time I heard this, I cried because it was so powerful and uplifting. Especially at a time like this.

Favorite Lyric: I believe in the beauty of love (hey) // I believe that we really are one // I believe every woman is a fighter // And I believe every man can stand beside her // And I know the world can be cold

We can’t let it divide us // There’s something inside us, a power that grows // There’s something beautiful in the flaws in all we are 

This album has really lifted me up when I felt down. I love Fifth Harmony so much because they give me confidence but they also ALWAYS seem to write songs that perfectly describe my feelings then they have the girl-empowerment songs and that’s been the material of their albums. That’s what I admire about them. They never fail to make me feel like I can do anything and be anything.

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my two good days.

This school week was honestly okay. I might even say it was good.

Of course, work-wise: School was a pain. College transcript request forms were due this week and I had to lockdown, for sure, my college choices. And my classes are all going through the information fast, especially my two AP classes. It feels like it’s May when teachers just need the info to absorb into our brains. But it’s only September (Guyssss, October is tomorrow, can you believe that?).

But I had two really good days. Filled with happiness and away from anxiety.

The first day was this past Thursday. It was “senior Unity Day.” Basically, senior unity day is the day seniors take a field trip to this farm and just have a fun time with your friends eating food, play games, etc.

Honestly, I didn’t think I was going to go to senior unit day but my best friend convinced me. Also, the night before I was doubtful and afraid to be excited… because I mean it’s my life. I’m so scared to be happy because I don’t want it to be taken away. How do I not think of it like that?

But I actually had a really good time. I have friends. I didn’t even realize it. I have a group of friends. My friends and my friend’s friends and we all spent the day together. We ate lunch and went on a zip line together. We went on this playground and took lots of pictures. We laughed and smiled.

To be honest, we didn’t get to do that much. Because there was a time limit, the line for the zip line itself was a 30-minute wait. By the time we got there it was almost close to 11 and we left at around 1:30.

So here are the details of that day…

I hung out with a lot of friends but I hung out with my best friend and one of my friends I got close with junior year. We all laughed a bunch. At the start, we all got soda and clinked our glasses making a toast.

Then we got food and it wasn’t thatttttt great. But it was food. My friend got a burger and I got a hot dog so we both would be able to share in case we didn’t want the one thing but didn’t wanna get both. My best friend is h.o.r.r.i.f.i.e.d. by bees. And it’s like the bee knew. Because it only went near her food. Guys, it literally only went in her cup and started drinking her lemonade… my best friend was literally done at this point. She just walked away from the bee lol.

Then my friend and I needed to pee. At first, we thought the bathrooms were port-o-potties so we went to where they were. But they were all locked and we were so confused. Turns out, the bathrooms were actual bathrooms in the dining area part and we concluded that we were dumb.

Then we went in line for the zip line. It was a longggg wait but it was nice catching up with my friend. I was very scared to go to the zip line. It’s like the feeling of going on a rollercoaster. Except I hate rollercoasters and I’ve only been on a zip line once and I loved it. These jerks got in front of us while my friends and I were talking to each other so we just ya knowww did the same and got in front of them and they went out of the line *high-fives each other like bosses* Then we got closer and closer and it got scarier. My friend and I were holding hands until they had to put the equipment on us. The moment I stepped up the ledge to be hooked onto the rope I was scared. The moment I had to step off I was hella scared. But it was so nice once I dropped off. It was like the calmness and serenity that you want every day. Just looking down and seeing life pass by is so serene and amazing. But unfortunately, it didn’t last long. But it was still fun.

Then my friends and I just hung out and the day was over. My face hurt so much from smiling and my throat hurt from yelling and talking so much. Imagine if I didn’t go, I would literally have avoided one of the happiest days of my life. Because this really was a happy day of my life. I never felt like a label. I never felt like the odd one out. I never felt anxious (aside from the zip line but even that was okay because my friends were there to comfort me). I never felt outside the circle. I felt okay. I felt… I was happy. It was a really good day.

The next day, Friday was a good day too. It was my best friend and another friend’s birthday. The other friend wanted to go downtown and watch “It” that scary movie with the clown. I questioned why she wanted to see that on her birthday and she said it would be balanced out because afterward, we would watch a happy movie. That was her solution fixing the scary with the happy lol. My friend was the only one who wanted to see it, the rest of us were all cautious but went anyway.

We took a bus downtown from school and then we went to go eat. It was nice having a conversation and again, it wasn’t awkward for me. I didn’t get anxiety. I felt okay.

We went to the movie theater. So only 3 of us out of maybe 7 or 8 of us got to see “It.” Because most of the girls didn’t bring their photo ID’s and you need to be seventeen in order to see it. (That pun/play on word tho, it’s greatttt) We were all seventeen but they just didn’t have their ID’s. They had a plan to sneak in. But there was this security guard who was very suspicious from the jump. I didn’t like him. He heard some construction workers laughing and he immediately ran to see what was going on with a straight face, holding his flashlight like a weapon. Then he asked to see our tickets and he was like “I saw you two walking one way so I’m questioning you about your tickets.” Literally, we were five feet away from the vendor guy and we were the only ones there.

I honestly don’t know what happened to the plan but it only came down to three of us. I was okay with it. Except for the fact that this movie was everywhere on social media with everyone scared regardless. I was so scared to see it. I’m a wimp in haunted houses, I get scared easily. When I first started watching Pretty Little Liars and Criminal Minds I got nightmares. So this was… it was like the boss level of it all. I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. But my resolve, guys! I’m actually so proud of myself.

I, Rebecca, survived a scary movie.

It honestly wasn’t even scary. I thought I would avert my eyes through it all but it wasn’t scary. It was just cringey and disturbing, the middle school relationships and the whole school scenario made me want to throw up… those kids were a piece of work especially that kid who was a borderline psychopath. I wanted the clown to take him.

Okay, the clown. That’s another story. Like what the heck dude. In one scene, it just danced and it looked like a joke. It was like I was watching a meme. That clown was creepy. I’m glad I never liked clowns.

But overall, going to see a movie with friends was really nice. I had a really fun time. We laughed a lot during the movie and talked through it (but no obnoxiously).

And that was my two good days. It’s pretty much due to the fact that I’m warming up to these friends who I was kinda awkward with at the beginning. But I’m getting able to know them and their personalities.

I honestly don’t know where this is going but I feel like I’m finally being able to be an acual senior. But like I am, I’m always scared of happy. I’m scared to have complete happiness because that has never existed for me.

I don’t know where this is going to go but all I know is that I had a really good 2 days.

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love and hate: rain.

believe it or not, but I…

used to hate the rain.

I found it hard to even type that.

Now, before you come at me with your “What the heck Rebecca? How do you hate the rain?”

Just hear me out.

Look at that word usage, “used to” meaning I thankfully don’t hate it anymore.

But my relationship with the rain has been a hate and now love one.

And the best loves are the ones you hate at first, right? (No one ever said that don’t quote me lol. In this kind of situation, it’s true. In others, get the hell out.)

Why did I use to hate the rain?

I was a kid. I think that’s a solid argument.

What do kids want to do most of the time? Play.

Of course, I wanted to play outside, not sulk inside because of the rain.

The rain ruined my happiness. Plus, the appearance. It was always gloomy and brought my mood down.

I even remember this one time, as a preteen, when my friends had this group text conversation. Two of my friends loved the rain and I was just like “Wait… what? Noooo the rain is crap! I want to go outside, it’s ruining my plans.” (I was in seventh grade, please don’t blame me)

But yes, there was an actual time when the rain was my enemy. I mean I wouldn’t say, an enemy it wasn’t the spawn of the devil… I just didn’t like it. It wasn’t my favorite.

Then a few years pass and I start going through hormones (ew puberty) and emotions. I’m no longer a child. And all the dark thoughts and emotions start coming in.

I still don’t like the rain but I don’t hate it either… does that make sense? It was like my feelings were now nearing the middle of the “hate” and “love” spectrum,  maybe even inching close to love?

But the rain wasn’t my best friend. Whenever it rained and I already felt down inside it was like an extra reason as to feel crappy. Like the world needed to remind me that I felt like crap inside. It brought me more pain.

Then, recently, a guy came along. And yes, this is the recent guy I always talk about. But this post isn’t about him so I won’t say his pseudonym but my involvement with that whole thing does relate to rain.

He brought the rain for me. He was the rain to me. He brought me to tears and gave me pain.

I remember when I stopped talking to him for two weeks and it rained a majority of those two weeks (it was April showers season, but I still think it’s a sign).

Those two weeks are how I came to love rain, like really love it. When I got a love for photography my freshman year I saw rain as beautiful and pretty but the two weeks the guy broke my heart, I truly loved rain.

I started loving it because it connected with me.

Yes, I felt like crap inside but the rain wasn’t really “making fun” of it, like I used to see rain as doing to my pain before.

No, it’s like the rain was with me. It’s pain was shared with mine. The world cried and I cried and I don’t know call me weird… but it’s like the world was sharing in my pain. Whenever it rained, I felt okay. Why? Because the world was sad too.

It felt okay for me to feel sad and to cry because the world was too.

Now, the rain is like my best friend. It calms the storm in me… no matter how ironic that might be.

It makes the pain and heartbreak okay for some reason. The way it looks… and sounds… just makes life feel okay for a moment.

And I no longer relate rain to sadness. Because it’s not true anymore. Rain isn’t sadness. It’s happiness. It’s serenity. It’s calmness.

It’s the feeling that even through all the pain and the tears, everything is gonna be okay. Sometimes the tears just have to flow and you need to let it all out.

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i miss him. sugar and salt.

I mean he’s still “here.”

I see him here and there. And I started talking to him again but not like I used to… I can’t talk to him like I used to because I know he only says lies.

So it would be a little weird to miss him if he’s “here” and he’s not like in some other country or leaving my messages on read in the summer (was that shade? Nope, it was the honest truth) right?

Wrong.

I miss him.

By this, I mean the him I fell for.

Not the him I know now.

Just a few months ago, he was different. It’s honestly like I’m talking to a different person… That’s what it feels like.

I know that there can be a lot of sides to a person, but him?

It was hard to know who I was talking to on a day. A jerk or the one I fell for.

Who’s the “him” I fell for?

The one who cared about my day and asked how I was doing. The one who would text me as soon as he woke up, I knew because the time stamp said 5am or 7am and would tell me “Good morning” or “Good afternoon.” The one who could tell something was wrong with me just because of a couple of words and actually cared enough to know what was wrong. It never felt forced.  The one who used to want to know about my secrets and my past. The one who wanted me to be happy and have a good day and if I didn’t, he would want to know what went wrong. The one who asked me about my anxiety and looked at me in a way nobody ever did.

The one that whenever something happened, he used to be one of the people or the only person I wanted to tell because I felt safe telling him and I knew he wouldn’t judge me.

Now all that’s left of him?

A jerk with a big ego always making jokes wanting to outmatch me.

He was always “outmatching” me before. I mean if he was sweet all the time? That would be too much sugar. The outmatching was balanced with the sweetness.

But over time, the sweetness went away and all that was left was salt. And if salt could be expired (in an alternate universe)… he would be like expired salt.

He doesn’t do any of the sweet stuff mentioned above anymore. All he does is “play games” coming for my shortness in jokes wanting me to come back at him with a joke. I don’t really mind this, but the fact that this is what’s left of us? It’s sad. It’s like his sweetness was a guest who didn’t want to stay for too long.

And when he does “care” it just seems so forced considering all the other crap he’s put my heart and me through. If you read the messages, it would be evident he doesn’t care or he doesn’t care like he used to.

i miss him.

i miss the him who did all the sweet things above.

i miss the one i fell for.

i wish to see him again someday.

but he might never show up again.

because he’s being taken over by another.

what changed? i don’t know.

why doesn’t he care anymore? i don’t know.

i don’t know what happened to him.

but can he tell that him that i miss him?

will that make him come back?

or is this who he really is?

who was “he” then?

did that “him” ever exist?

was he fake?

i don’t know.

all i know is that i miss him.

Whoever he was.

And as long as that him is gone,

I’m currently not falling for anyone.

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Quotes from My Social Media When I Was a Preteen: DEEP EDITION

Ok, WHO LET ME HAVE A SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT AS A KID??

Lol, really?

Because I went through all my past tweets and wow… Lol, a majority of what I tweeted about was homework being boring and school seemingly never-ending. To be honest, this young girl did not know stress even though she was complaining 24/7.

So, I’ve been doing this thing where I gather all my quotes and put it in a journal because I want it to all be in one place. I did this for all my poems on Tumblr and now I did it for my Twitter.

But guys… I did not expect all my tweets to be so cringe-worthy, funny, etc. I literally had those two emotions the most reading through all of them like “I said that?”

But Young Rebecca was as deep in her feelings almost as much as this Rebecca. Why? I don’t know… fanfiction maybe? I watched A LOT of rom-coms as a kid.

But I also was… psh was, I still am, not to be egotistical ya know lol. But I was funny as a kid like I am now *attempts hair-flip* But the funny tweets I have saved for another day because this is… *drum-roll*

THE DEEP EDITION OF YOUNG REBECCA’S TWEETS:

Lol, most of these originate as early as 2012. Buckle in because most of these, I don’t even know what I was going through to be tweeting something like this as a kid but here we gooo… (I might add little comments in between)

ITALICIZED AND BOLD: Young Tweeter Rebecca

NORMAL TEXT: Present Rebecca (Wow, I don’t get any special fonts or such? … sorry it would be confusing. Am I arguing with myself? …Possibly… Because it relates to the rest of this post like how I’m talking to my younger self, ya see how I fit that in? Just get on with the post bruh… ok lol)

  • “i guess people don’t look on the inside. they’re too focused on the outside to care.”
    • I knew this was a good tweet because one of the “popular kids” who used to follow me (who rudely unfollowed me) retweeted this and I got excited. It’s kinda sad what excited me back then but I really like the quote. It deserves snaps like after a poem… ok I’ll stop.
  • “i do hate you but i don’t want to let go of you.”
    • The funny thing is, I honestly have no idea who this is about. The date of this tweet was before my 1st major crush soooo… really have no idea lol.
  • “am i talking to you, or a stranger? do I still know you? or have we forgotten each other? did i really know the real you? we’ve drifted apart?”
    • It’s coincidental how relatable this is at the moment.
  • “when it seems like it’s not reality, i wake up from the dream of life and fantasy.”
    • I really don’t though lol
  • “if you couldn’t care less, then why are you thinking about it now?”
    • Damn. Is Young Rebecca coming for my life?
  • “if it feels like your world is crumbling and nobody loves you, God loves you no matter what”
    • Too true though. My faith strong since the young days.
  • “there isn’t a time when i don’t think of memories.”
  • “i was saying you should come back now i’m singing “you shouldn’t come back” 
    • Anyone know the Demi Lovato song, “Shouldn’t Come Back?”
  • “there can be more than one side of a person.”
    • DON’T I KNOW
  • “how do you figure something out if you don’t know where to start?”
  • “closing your eyes won’t make the problem go away.”
  • “i miss the person that you used to be.”
  • “please stop changing.”
    • This was when I was in my “I hate change” phase
  • “the moon will follow us home.”
    • The start of my love and obsession for the moon. Basically it’s where our love story began lol
  • i would’ve smiled at your face but that would’ve been too much for me to take.”
    • FOLLOW YOUNG REBECCA’S ADVICE, REBECCA
  • “it’s like the past is repeating itself.”
    • It is though. This is why I need to read and re-read these.
  • “you knew what you were getting yourself into.”
    • Yeah… I did. It’s like Young Me is scolding present me
  • “i’ve literally made it so obvious… you might as well be oblivious.”
    • *cough* Phoenix *cough* but really how oblivious that boy is… I can’t
  • “i don’t want to get lost in the dark.”
  • “i’d wait all day just for a moment.”
    • It’s sad how true this still is
  • “i wish i could go back in the past and whisper, “wrong person.”
    • yes, Yes, YES
  • “just when i was starting to get to know you, you leave.”
  • “you never know what you can find when you start exploring your options.”
  • “we would remember that day like it was yesterday.”
  • “secrets are dangerous. telling the wrong person will lead to disaster and it’ll kill you inside.”
  • “i don’t want a stupid coincidence haunting me forever.”
    • Hi Overthinking, how are you doing today?
  • “i miss you too but you’re not what i want anymore.”
  • “at this point can you just tell me if you like me or not? Please, it’s killing me.”
    • Relatable, at this very moment
  • “if only i was that piece of special for you but i never was and i have to accept that.”
    • ERGHhghhhhh this makes me cringe. Because I wrote this unsent letter to my very first MAJOR crush and burned it. My friend told me to write it because it helped her because she wanted to get over someone too. And so I put like lines from the letter on my twitter because he followed me on twitter and I hoped he would see it eraskldfsjdls I still cringe. The next two are quotes from that letter too. I was in deep. I didn’t even have one real conversation with this guy. But can you blame me? It was middle school lol
  • “we never said goodbye but we didn’t have to because we felt it.”
  • “there will always be a vacant space in my heart for you.”
  • “there’s a star out there destined for you and your wishes.”
  • “what about a person who lies about their lying?”
    • THEY NEED TO LEAVE THEN bye
  • “someday those eyes that i fell for are gonna be the eyes that i envy.”
  • “i wish i was stronger. Mentally, not physically.
    • This was during the time I actually realized that strength was more than just muscles. I’m really proud of how far I’ve come.
  • “it’s hard to believe that certain things are real sometimes.”
  • “do you remember me? or am i just a faint memory?”
  • “there are people you thought would never hurt you. yet, that’s all they do nowadays.”
  • “you never really had to go… you just didn’t want to stay.”
  • “i finally figured out that every compliment you give me comes with an insult.”
  • “when i’m away from the harbor, i need an anchor.”
  • “hearing you insult someone else makes me wonder what you say behind my back.”
    • This tea tastes really good
  • “you used past tense. meaning we aren’t anymore. not like we were anything.” 
  • “everyone has the path that they’re walking on. i’m still trying to figure out which way to go and where mine leads.”
    • Still haven’t figured it out
  • “i’m done telling this story. i want a new story to tell.”
  • “people left. i had to change, it was the only way that i could move on.”
    • And now I accept change. It’s cute how I can see my development lol
  • “i didn’t come all this way for nothing.”
    • No you didn’t 🙂
  • “the only thing i’m holding onto right now is hope.”
    • I remember I tweeted this the night I realized I was only still alive because of hope and I should keep holding onto it.
  • “i look at my past as a journey of the person i’m becoming.”
    • And sometimes a journey of my cringe developing but mostly the first one
  • “i would rather regret something i did do, than something i didn’t do.”
  • “the camera can never capture the true beauty that you see through your eyes.”
  • “the one person you don’t want to see is suddenly the only person you ever see.”
  • “treading shallow water is too easy. the big waves are your competition.”
  • “let it rain for a while, i’m getting a rainbow afterward.”
  • “it doesn’t feel real. whenever things change, it doesn’t seem real.”
  • “the funny thing is, no matter what you do or have done to my heart it’ll always find a way to forgive you and your bs.”
    • Hey look, this Rebecca is more recent lol
  • “why did you have to bring the rain?”
  • “i should’ve just let you focus.”

Lol, I honestly thought I would cringe more but it was more like Younger Rebecca was giving me a lesson and coming for my life. Now I’m picturing a young me at a classroom blackboard with a pointer stick while present me sits in a chair listening (and a bit scared)… my imagination is… But there ya go! There’s deep young Rebecca for ya! I hope you learned something from her because I sure did. This post was really fun to write, be sure to look out for the FUNNY edition of this blog post which is coming soon (she says hopefully)

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Contact, Social Media, if you wanna talk…

So I thought this stuff should get its own post because who looks at my contact page? *crickets*

Lol, but even I don’t look at pages, I barely have time to look at blog posts throughout the day.

But just in case anyone is wondering, if anyone would wonder my anxiety says, here’s where you can contact me if you ever want to talk or want to follow me and want me to follow you on social media… Even though I only have one social media account for this blog.

By contact I really mean anything, if you just need someone to vent to or you wanna show me some music suggestions or you just need a conversation, I’m here! I honestly mean that. I know sometimes you feel alone, I do too… but you’re never alone.

Email: hopelesslystrong27@gmail.com

I’m down to have a conversation here or to talk on hangouts. Trust me, once we start talking I can’t shut up. Honestly, if you want essay emails here ya go.

Instagram: @melancholy_hopefulness  (just have to credit the amazing person who thought of this username for me, Kate from All The Trinkets who is such a creative bean and awesome person. She didn’t even ask me to put herself there but she deserves it)

My Instagram has always shown at the left side of my blog. Some people have seen it, but I’ve never talked about it in a post. I really love photography. It’s one of my hobbies up there under music and writing. I started taking random pictures of the world when I left middle school. It’s like once I left that school I got so interested in photography. At first, it was just pictures of sunsets and clouds but then I wanted to start experimenting. I still take photos of sunsets but I take pictures of people sometimes and I don’t shoot pictures I take outside randomly anymore because I took a photography class junior year which taught me about photography rules and stuff. I try to get angles and new perspectives. I dream to be able to buy my own camera someday in the future.

So if you really love photography you can follow me there! And if you have an Instagram too, I’ll be happy to follow you back just tell me your username and I’ll stalk you… that was a joke lol. I promise not to stalk you. I’ll look at maybe ten pictures. Ok, I’ll stop talking… (I’m honestly not gonna stalk you… I don’t even have the attention span to read 10 blog posts lol) MOVING ON

Kik: rebecca_zecca

Lol I never thought I would ever write that. Because I really don’t see a point to kik. But I downloaded it for one of my friends to talk to her (because I’m a LOYAL friend lol) So yeah it’s there on my phone. Since it’s there why not use it to talk to more people? So if you have one you can have a convo with me on there too 🙂

This is no attempt to make my blog seem “better.” Or anything like that, if that’s the kind of vibe this post is giving you… (my anxiety is worrying about that) I just want anyone to know that if they do want to talk, I’m here. I love talking and getting to know new people and it would be really cool if we got to know each other aside from the blogs.

Ok, that’s all I have to say! If you wanna let me know that you’re following me or adding me or sending me an email leave it in the comments and I will be 100% sure to check it. Thanks for all the love and support!

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Q & A #2

I know, I knowwww. I said that this Q&A would be up yesterday. But school is literally killing me this week. I decided to get my class schedule changed so that stressed and messed me up a little bit. And I hate to review a whole chapter for Biology and I waited until the last minute and yeah… but here’s the Q&A!

«Music Tuesday (because I haven’t done one in a long time)»

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (Never Say Goodbye) by Sonu Nigam, Alka Yagnik

This song is in Hindi but I made sure to find one in an English translation. I’ve been listening to this song a lot not only because it sounds so nice and lovely but because what it means. A lot of times we say goodbye to people even when we’re not ready. and it’s hard to think that the last time you see someone and say goodbye it’ll be the very last time. This is really beautiful to me for that reason. Not only that but it brings me closer to my culture because I don’t normally listen to Hindi songs or any Indian-based songs on repeat so there ya go… you can listen to this while reading the Q & A. Sound good?

  • Ana Regina asks: What was the first thing that came to your mind when you realized you got 500 followers?
    • Nope, not true. Lol. The days before I got it I noticed it was like slowly coming to 500 so the excitement gradually developed as each follower came close to 500. It’s STILL hard to believe. Like 500? I couldn’t even imagine counting up to that number when I was in first grade getting excited over numbers. It’s hard to actually let sink in. 500 human fingers clicking follow. Woah.
  • Ana Regina asks: Emojis or hashtags?
    • Emojis definitely. They can say what you can never type out through a cute lil face. Hashtags are cool and all but there’s tons of pressure in that number sign. I mean hashtags = popularity because you gotta make sure you’re using the popular ones. So definitely emojis. They are no pressure and they’re fun.
  • Ana Regina asks: If you could choose two singers (any singers) you like to collab on a song, which would them be?
    • Erghhhhhhh. Just gotta say, I really love this question. Singers? Well… you said singers, not bands so that scratches out my faves *cough* Fifth Harmony. Lol uhmm one would definitely be Shawn Mendes. His guitar skills? And his voice? He’s been one of my faves since like 2014. Then another one would be Alessia Cara. I love her. I love her voice, what she stands for, what she teaches women and little girls, her music… like what’s not to love? (Side Note: If I ever actually, in some distant universe, if I ever did get to collab with them, I would die. Just drop dead. My life would be complete)
  • Elm asks: What’s the best part of blogging?
    • Being able to have a voice, most definitely. I get to be able to share my stories, my feelings, my thoughts, me literally on this little blog. I don’t have to hide stuff or bottle feelings. That’s way more than I could ever ask for.
  • Elm asks: What’s one piece of advice you’d give to someone who feels anxious?
    • I’ve. Been. There. I know it feels like crap. But just know that something ALWAYS lifts you up out of the hole. I know it’s crap every time going down there but just hold on to that teensy bit of hope that you have. Make self-care journals, meditate, take breathing exercises, write, do what you love, crack into your brain and write down what’s bothering you, etc. I know you’re scared. I’m scared too. But you’re not alone. You’re never alone. Our stories wouldn’t be our stories without an antagonist. Even if that antagonist is our own mind.
  • ItsSimplyMeJasmine asks: How would your life be now if you didn’t have a blog?
    • I honestly don’t even know. What if I’ve never even heard of wordpress? Dang. I would probably be abusing my friend’s ears telling them stuff they don’t care about or, most likely, be hiding in my own bottle with my feelings. I honestly don’t know. I feel like it wasn’t meant to happen that way so I can’t even really picture it that way.
  • ItsSimplyMeJasmine asks: What’s your most favorite blog post you’ve written?
    • Noooooo… favorites!! Lol this is like asking your parents who their favorite child is (which I pestered my dad about when I was a kid). *Scrolls through posts real quick* Well recently, because I have a very bad memory, my most favorite has been: that time my favorite band dropped a single that described my current situation Because I got to be able to mix music with a personal situation and it was so nice to get it all out there. You know how whenever there’s a new song you hear and you’re like “Wait… this is exactly what I’m feeling because…” And I love finally being able to put the because in words. I was so excited to connect the lyrics to my feelings and share it, that’s why that’s one of my faves.
  • Ana Regina asks: When was the last time you sang in the shower?
    • Uhm when was the last time I took a shower? This afternoon? Yep then. Lol I always sing in the shower… is there ever a time someone does not? I wonder…
  • Ana Regina asks: Winter or summer clothes?
    • Erghhh ya got me again. Summer clothes are cute because I like my skirts and finally letting my arms be free (which is amazing to say because I used to be insecure of my arm hair). But winter… I love my winter coat and all my sweaters are like calling out to me from the closet now and beanies. I don’t even wear beanies but I want to wear them now and… I don’t even now. But since it’s cold, I will say winter clothes. Fair, right? Lol
  • Ana Regina asks: Essay questions or test questions?
    • To be honest, would it be weird if I say essay questions? Because essay questions usually focus on one thing. Even if it asks to give evidence, examples, etc. it still focuses on one thing. Test questions… they can wrack your brain sometimes. The wording of them is m.a.n.i.p.u.l.a.t.i.v.e. Test questions mentally attack me. I study and they make me feel like I didn’t. I don’t like them. With essay questions, you can not know and just make up random stuff in paragraph form… okay that doesn’t work most (all) of the time. But usually, with essay questions, you can have an inkling of an idea and just go with that tiny spark.

That was really fun! Thank you guys for the questions, I really loved answering them ALL. They really wracked my brain and made me think. And thank you again for 500 followers. I still can’t fathom that. Thank you for supporting me and my words. I couldn’t do this life thing if it wasn’t for this blog… it’s me. And I’m so grateful that so many of you come here or see posts on my reader and support me. It means so much to me. Okay I should go before I start crying lol. Thank you again!

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