Poems I put up on my Tumblr:
- Topic: Phoenix
i did all I could to make you stay.
i was vulnerable.
i opened up.
but i guess it wasn’t enough for you.
your actions never came from the heart…
instead, they came from your ego
i can’t say your name anymore.
you’ve become the “he who should not be named”
and i finally get why the mere mention of a name means so much.
it’s because it’s more than just a name.
it’s the whole fucking memory of you.
all the times i said it while i vented to one of my friends.
smiling because of the way it rolled off my tongue as i recollected a story that used to make me happy.
when i yelled it out because you were being “annoying”
using it as a foundation for a nickname.
your name has become more than just a name.
it’s a trigger.
those seven letters…
they give me hell.
i want to hope. i want to believe. that you think of me as much as i think of you.
that here and there you think about picking up the phone to talk to me.
that you think of moments we shared to make you smile.
that you miss me and you actually care.
that you’re not forgetting me.
that you’re not losing your focus on us.
Even though I know,
it’s all a lie.
i still have that picture of you on my phone.
when you were smiling and we were together, content with the world.
i can never look at that picture…
but i can never delete it either.
that “I miss you” text is never gonna come, is it?
because if it did…
it would be a lie.
“why wasn’t i enough for you?”
and after all this time i still delude myself into thinking you feel the same way about me.
no, it’s not the thought that counts, it’s the action.
because in that case, you’re just saying shit with no intention of following through.
it’s not easy for me to act like nothing happened.
that’s what makes you different from me.
you gave up and i gave in.