What I’ve Been Listening to this Week– Album Review (Fifth Harmony)

So I wanted to try something new on my blog: An album review!

Have you guys ever fallen in love with a whole musical album? Like every song contributes perfectly together. There are times when I just listen to an album non-stop for a whole week because it’s that good.

I’d never thought of doing this until I listened to this certain album and I definitely want to do it in the future because it’s fun to talk about the things you love with no filter.

So I’ve been listening to this album since it came out (August 25th) because if anyone knows me they know I love this band with a passion.

The album I’ve been listening to is: Fifth Harmony (self-titled album)

This album is definitely for someone who needs a boost of confidence or just needs an energy lifter. What I like about this album is that it doesn’t sound like thrown-up pop sounds. They are pop melodies but it’s mixed with urban sounds and everything is just cohesive and fits. No song is too jumpy nor is it too soft. They really have improved over the years; they maintained a sound that carries on throughout their whole album.

And they finally had creative control! They got to co-write songs and got involved in the whole process. Their songs really uplift me whenever I feel down. (So, of course, I’m not gonna say anything bad about it) If you’re in your feelings about something: feel whatever you need to feel then listen to this album and you’ll feel so much confident afterward.

Album Review: Fifth Harmony (Keep in mind it is explicit. There are two songs that are explicit: Angel and Lonely Night)

(Keep in mind it is explicit. There are two songs that are explicit: Angel and Lonely Night)

Tracklist:

  • Down ft. Gucci Mane

(Lol, the funny thing about this is that whenever Gucci says “It’s Gucci” I thought he was saying scooch. And I keep singing it that way)

This is the first song they released after Camila left the band. This is an all-around fun song. You can just turn it on and you immediately jam to it. The vocals go together with all the beats and sounds. I really like listening to the background sounds because the beats aren’t too hard like some pop music these days. The chorus is very infectious but it’s one of those songs that are on repeat for a good reason.

It’s a love song that talks about no matter what you’re gonna love the person. And, Normani (one of the members) said that the group”kind of connect with each other because we’ve been through so much and we’ve always held each other ‘Down’.”

Favorite Lyric: Need somebody with some patience // ‘Cause you know I got a temperament // And yeah, you got a reputation // Nothin’ that a little love can’t fix

  • He Like That

This is another fun song. We all know there is no male counterpart in my life (and NO I do not need one) but I still like singing along to this song because it’s very catchy. Literally, anything that comes out of the girls’ mouths sounds like heaven to me. But their vocals really have improved and are showcased more. It’s just a fun let-loose song to dance to.

  • Sauced Up

This is another song where the vocals mix well together with the beats. Also, another let-loose song to just remind you to have fun. Who cares about the consequences? We’re young. Like this is one of those roll down the windows, jamming in the car songs.

Favorite Lyric: We can get sauced up // Forever we’re young, we’ll never get old

  • Make You Mad

This is the sass song of the century! Lol. I think as teens we care too much about people not liking us for who we are whether it be sassy or loud with a tad bit of (some might say) obnoxious. So it’s like: Oh I made you mad? So what?

With the way the song starts out, you don’t expect the chorus to drop like it does and it’s a very lovely surprise for your ears.

Favorite Lyric: I’m gonna make you miss me // I’m gonna make you go mad // I’m gonna make sure I’m the best you ever had

  • Deliver

This song definitely has Mariah Carey vibes to it. It is “THE” R&B song on the album. It just takes you back but still manages to keep you in the present. Don’t even get me started on their harmonies throughout it… so beautiful.

Plus, their music video for this is super aesthetic with the black-and-white tones… it’s pleasing to the eyes.

  • Lonely Night

Aghhhh this is one of my two favorites! It’s such a good song and so relatable at the moment. It’s one of those “feel good” anthems. Especially if you have a person you can picture singing this song too. It makes that situation 100x better.

I love the message. Because in this society, we live in a world where we excuse behaviors of the one we really like. Even if that behavior is super jerky and rude. We excuse it because we think that significant other is our one and only but in this song, the girls are singing, “If you do this, boy it’s gonna be a lonely night for you.”

I especially love the “bye bye” part lol.

Favorite Lyric: If you don’t treat ya mama right, bye-bye, bye-bye // If you got another chick on the side, bye-bye, bye-bye // You look everywhere but my eyes, bye-bye, bye-bye

  • Don’t Say You Love Me

This song. Oh my gosh, this song. I have no words. Literally. It’s so beautiful. I don’t know what else to say.

The lyrics. Oh my gosh, the lyrics are so relatable. Especially right now. It’s like they reading what’s coming from my heart and singing it in a song.

Their vocals. The emotion. The message. But my favorite part is that it’s not too soft that it messes with the whole vibe of the album, but it still manages to be so emotional and heart-tugging.

Favorite Lyric: (Literally I can’t pick a favorite. I want to put the majority of the song here. But I gotta lol) I need a little bit more // I need a little bit more // You gotta know what it’s like // I know you been here before // I’ve been waiting, I’ve been patient // But I need a little bit more

  • Angel

I love the chronological order of this album. Lol literally the song prior to this takes your heart out of its chest and puts you in your feelings and then this song reminds you “Nah they’re not worth it. They never got to know the real you.”

The message of this song is important. It’s about how everything starts out cool with someone and then as time passes on you realize they’re not worth it. They never got to know you. They only go to know the perception of you. The “Angel.” When there’s so much more to you.

The beats in this song are so catchy. I especially love the 2nd verse when Ally raps because it makes me want to sing along (as if I could rap).

It just makes your confidence go up 100 times more after the heartfelt song. Like, okay, we needed to get to the feelings and then… Nah you’re so much more than the heartbreak.

Favorite Lyric: Wasn’t tryna spend my life on the phone with ya // Gotta keep it on one hundred with ya // The original me wouldn’t fuck with ya // And I was beginning to fuck with ya

  • Messy 

The message of this song… It’s very true for most girls and boys, pretty much any person in a relationship. How no one is ever perfect when it comes to being in a relationship with something. This song is basically like: “I’m messy. That’s who I am.” It talks about how we’re not perfect but that’s okay. It’s okay to be messy.

Favorite Lyric: I’ll tell you straight how I feel with no filter // No touchin’ up what you see, there’s no filter // I can be cruel sometimes, outta my mind // Insecure and out the door // I am who I am and you won’t have to wonder

  • Bridges

This is the song the whole world needs to hear. It’s about Trump’s walls and how we should build “bridges and not walls.” This is the perfect way to end the album. I’m so happy they got to be able to write and talk about this. The song is so beautiful and when you hear it you feel so motivated and it touches your soul. The first time I heard this, I cried because it was so powerful and uplifting. Especially at a time like this.

Favorite Lyric: I believe in the beauty of love (hey) // I believe that we really are one // I believe every woman is a fighter // And I believe every man can stand beside her // And I know the world can be cold

We can’t let it divide us // There’s something inside us, a power that grows // There’s something beautiful in the flaws in all we are 

This album has really lifted me up when I felt down. I love Fifth Harmony so much because they give me confidence but they also ALWAYS seem to write songs that perfectly describe my feelings then they have the girl-empowerment songs and that’s been the material of their albums. That’s what I admire about them. They never fail to make me feel like I can do anything and be anything.

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Q & A #2

I know, I knowwww. I said that this Q&A would be up yesterday. But school is literally killing me this week. I decided to get my class schedule changed so that stressed and messed me up a little bit. And I hate to review a whole chapter for Biology and I waited until the last minute and yeah… but here’s the Q&A!

«Music Tuesday (because I haven’t done one in a long time)»

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (Never Say Goodbye) by Sonu Nigam, Alka Yagnik

This song is in Hindi but I made sure to find one in an English translation. I’ve been listening to this song a lot not only because it sounds so nice and lovely but because what it means. A lot of times we say goodbye to people even when we’re not ready. and it’s hard to think that the last time you see someone and say goodbye it’ll be the very last time. This is really beautiful to me for that reason. Not only that but it brings me closer to my culture because I don’t normally listen to Hindi songs or any Indian-based songs on repeat so there ya go… you can listen to this while reading the Q & A. Sound good?

  • Ana Regina asks: What was the first thing that came to your mind when you realized you got 500 followers?
    • Nope, not true. Lol. The days before I got it I noticed it was like slowly coming to 500 so the excitement gradually developed as each follower came close to 500. It’s STILL hard to believe. Like 500? I couldn’t even imagine counting up to that number when I was in first grade getting excited over numbers. It’s hard to actually let sink in. 500 human fingers clicking follow. Woah.
  • Ana Regina asks: Emojis or hashtags?
    • Emojis definitely. They can say what you can never type out through a cute lil face. Hashtags are cool and all but there’s tons of pressure in that number sign. I mean hashtags = popularity because you gotta make sure you’re using the popular ones. So definitely emojis. They are no pressure and they’re fun.
  • Ana Regina asks: If you could choose two singers (any singers) you like to collab on a song, which would them be?
    • Erghhhhhhh. Just gotta say, I really love this question. Singers? Well… you said singers, not bands so that scratches out my faves *cough* Fifth Harmony. Lol uhmm one would definitely be Shawn Mendes. His guitar skills? And his voice? He’s been one of my faves since like 2014. Then another one would be Alessia Cara. I love her. I love her voice, what she stands for, what she teaches women and little girls, her music… like what’s not to love? (Side Note: If I ever actually, in some distant universe, if I ever did get to collab with them, I would die. Just drop dead. My life would be complete)
  • Elm asks: What’s the best part of blogging?
    • Being able to have a voice, most definitely. I get to be able to share my stories, my feelings, my thoughts, me literally on this little blog. I don’t have to hide stuff or bottle feelings. That’s way more than I could ever ask for.
  • Elm asks: What’s one piece of advice you’d give to someone who feels anxious?
    • I’ve. Been. There. I know it feels like crap. But just know that something ALWAYS lifts you up out of the hole. I know it’s crap every time going down there but just hold on to that teensy bit of hope that you have. Make self-care journals, meditate, take breathing exercises, write, do what you love, crack into your brain and write down what’s bothering you, etc. I know you’re scared. I’m scared too. But you’re not alone. You’re never alone. Our stories wouldn’t be our stories without an antagonist. Even if that antagonist is our own mind.
  • ItsSimplyMeJasmine asks: How would your life be now if you didn’t have a blog?
    • I honestly don’t even know. What if I’ve never even heard of wordpress? Dang. I would probably be abusing my friend’s ears telling them stuff they don’t care about or, most likely, be hiding in my own bottle with my feelings. I honestly don’t know. I feel like it wasn’t meant to happen that way so I can’t even really picture it that way.
  • ItsSimplyMeJasmine asks: What’s your most favorite blog post you’ve written?
    • Noooooo… favorites!! Lol this is like asking your parents who their favorite child is (which I pestered my dad about when I was a kid). *Scrolls through posts real quick* Well recently, because I have a very bad memory, my most favorite has been: that time my favorite band dropped a single that described my current situation Because I got to be able to mix music with a personal situation and it was so nice to get it all out there. You know how whenever there’s a new song you hear and you’re like “Wait… this is exactly what I’m feeling because…” And I love finally being able to put the because in words. I was so excited to connect the lyrics to my feelings and share it, that’s why that’s one of my faves.
  • Ana Regina asks: When was the last time you sang in the shower?
    • Uhm when was the last time I took a shower? This afternoon? Yep then. Lol I always sing in the shower… is there ever a time someone does not? I wonder…
  • Ana Regina asks: Winter or summer clothes?
    • Erghhh ya got me again. Summer clothes are cute because I like my skirts and finally letting my arms be free (which is amazing to say because I used to be insecure of my arm hair). But winter… I love my winter coat and all my sweaters are like calling out to me from the closet now and beanies. I don’t even wear beanies but I want to wear them now and… I don’t even now. But since it’s cold, I will say winter clothes. Fair, right? Lol
  • Ana Regina asks: Essay questions or test questions?
    • To be honest, would it be weird if I say essay questions? Because essay questions usually focus on one thing. Even if it asks to give evidence, examples, etc. it still focuses on one thing. Test questions… they can wrack your brain sometimes. The wording of them is m.a.n.i.p.u.l.a.t.i.v.e. Test questions mentally attack me. I study and they make me feel like I didn’t. I don’t like them. With essay questions, you can not know and just make up random stuff in paragraph form… okay that doesn’t work most (all) of the time. But usually, with essay questions, you can have an inkling of an idea and just go with that tiny spark.

That was really fun! Thank you guys for the questions, I really loved answering them ALL. They really wracked my brain and made me think. And thank you again for 500 followers. I still can’t fathom that. Thank you for supporting me and my words. I couldn’t do this life thing if it wasn’t for this blog… it’s me. And I’m so grateful that so many of you come here or see posts on my reader and support me. It means so much to me. Okay I should go before I start crying lol. Thank you again!

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that time my favorite band dropped a single that described my current situation

… and it’s freaking me out so much, but in a good way… in a very good way.

So something that has kept me holding on and has kept me happy is the date August 25th because that’s the day my favorite band, Fifth Harmony, is coming out with their album! And today they dropped a song out of nowhere.

It’s like they know me on another level… lol I’m kidding. But coincidence? The day before I took the SAT, they dropped their single. After having shitty feelings for a week, they drop a song on their album. I’d like to think it’s all written in the stars lol.

But when I heard this song, “Angel” it was weird because it took one replay to get all the lyrics and then another one (after the shock of the song) to connect it with my life. Because this song literally speaks out my feelings.

Has that ever happened with you? I know a lot of songs have done that to me and I love that feeling. But this song, it came when I needed it the most.

It says exactly how I feel about Phoenix and that whole situation. After almost a full week of knowing the truth about him and how he feels, this song came out just describing everything I want to say to him . I thought about telling someone because the personal connection literally shocked me… so where better to tell it than my blog?

So here’s the song (but it is explicit, just a warning in case you don’t want to hear that). I’m gonna connect my feelings with the lyrics now.

(The bold lyrics are the ones I can connect with, the italicized ones are just the general lyrics that I can’t connect to- but that doesn’t disregard my feelings to the song) *Slyly switches from first person to second person perspective*

  • Who said I was an angel?
    Who said I was an angel? Oh, yeah

    • I didn’t really connect these lyrics when I first heard the song or even when I saw the song title because why would the simple word “Angel” remind me of you? But then I remembered you used to call me that or some variation of that. I don’t know why, but you used to call me “Angelic legs” (Don’t ask, I DON’T EVEN KNOW lol) and then when I told you I could sing you called me “Angelic voice.” Then on our second hang out, I asked you what excuse you would tell your friends for being late to soccer practice and you said that an angel kidnapped you. It’s weird thinking of it now, I never thought much of your nicknames. But now thinking about it, what made you call me that? I’m far from an angel. Who called me an angel? Oh yeah, you did. But you were wrong. Now that you played me wrong, you’re gonna be proven wrong.
  • We were just a moment, nothing serious
    Never really paid it any mind
    Drop the back side and paying attention

    • This was your perspective of what we were, right? You barely paid attention. Because if you did notice, all you did would be to hurt me… but I always forgave you because of what I felt. But I can’t do that anymore. Because if you’re not gonna give a second thought about me I can’t give one about you anymore.
  • Should’ve never not kept your word
    Woulda had a reason to keep mine
    You was too inconsistent

    • I would’ve kept my word. I would’ve followed through with everything I’ve told you… I would’ve if you hadn’t lied about everything you’ve told me. You never kept your word. Not when it came to big out-of-this-world promises, which is understandable. But when it came to small things like when you were going to text me back or when we were gonna hang out, you always left me hanging like a lost kid wondering what I did wrong. You were inconsistent. I kept giving you chances and you showed me so many sides of you that confused me as to who you actually were. If you were gonna be sweet or a full jerk. And you were never one side for too long. I didn’t know what the lie was and what the truth was.
  • Should’ve never crossed that line with ya
    • I shouldn’t have. I went into unknown territory thinking that this would make my heart happy. But looking back, I should’ve just stayed where I was.

Everything cool, just drinkin’ with ya

  • Way too young to be up in handcuffs
    Wasn’t tryna spend my life on the phone with ya

    • It felt like I wasted my junior year being controlled by my feelings for you. I wasted so much time when I could’ve been having fun with my friends. I don’t want to be in handcuffs. Then there was this one time you called me back after I called you to ask how much the bus was after our second hang out. I remember as you talked to me I just wanted to stay on the phone longer with you. But you just wanted to know why I called and hung up (not rudely, I mean you said your regular “Be safe” bs) and it felt like we were on the phone for a long time but it was just one minute. If given, I would’ve talked to you on the phone for hours. After I took the SAT, I called you and we had a short conversation, I guess it would’ve been longer if I gave you details about the test and how I felt. But there was this feeling that I was bothering you so I gave you short answers. Maybe there’s a reason I never got my wish of spending “my life” on the phone with you. Because right now, if I hear your voice I might just break. Good thing I deleted your number off my phone.
  • Gotta keep it all 100 with ya
    The original me wouldn’t’ fuck with ya
    And I was beginning to fuck with ya

    • This is oddly and coincidentally true. Back in freshman year when we were friends, you kinda creeped me out and when the teacher moved our seats you never talked to me again and vice versa. Back then, I didn’t really want to keep ties because I never knew what your intentions were. And now, when I was beginning to be more open with you and warm up my feelings, you pull the rug out from under me. Two years later, and I still don’t know what your intentions are. I should’ve kept the mindset of you that my freshman year self had (no matter how extra and over dramatic she was).

Who said I was an angel?
Who said I was an angel? Oh, yeah

  • When you look at me, what do you see?
    Open your eyes, I’m more brilliant than you’ll ever be

    • What do you see when you look at me? I still don’t know. I don’t know what you saw when you played with me and stared at me for mintues trying to “read my soul.” You never told me what you saw. But I know, I’m more than you’ll ever be. I won’t ever play someone like you play/played me.

Who said I was an angel?

  • Yeah won’t lie, say I don’t lie
    Yeah, I might’ve told a few lies, yeah
    Won’t lie, say I didn’t try
    But you’re only worth a few tries, yeah

    • I did lie sometimes to you, but only when it involved my true feelings. I could never tell you the truth about how I felt because I didn’t want to freak you out. And I tried. Through my feelings, I tried so hard to be your friend. But you hardly tried. I tried to the best of my effort to be a good friend to you but I can’t keep ruining myself for this friendship. You aren’t worth so many tries that it kills me inside. Where was your effort?
  • Track star, say that you’re running these streets
    You ain’t the only one running these streets
    They’re making grounds like I only wear cleats, yeah

    • Your ego never hid itself. But it never ruined whatever we had because, in the past, your ego could never come close to how sweet you were to me. So the ego was outbalanced by the sweetness. But with time, the sweetness went away and the way you cared about me changed. You always had this mentality of “I’m stronger than you and I know it. You can’t hurt my feeling no matter how hard you try.” You thought you were the one in charge of this game. And for a while, I let you take control but now it’s time to show you that you’re not the only one “running these streets.”

Should’ve never cross that line with ya
Everything cool, just drinkin’ with ya
Way too young to be up in handcuffs
Tryna spend my life on the phone with ya
Gotta keep it all 100 with ya
The original me wouldn’t fuck with ya
And I was beginning to fuck with ya

  • Who said I was an angel? (But you was wrong, oh, yeah)
    • You were wrong about who I was. But I’m not surprised because you never put in that much time to correct yourself and find out who I really am. The fact that you said “I think I know you well enough to know when you’re lying or not” still pisses me off. Because no, you don’t know me that well. And you don’t get to be egotistical enough to think that because you know if I said those exact words to you, you would mock me.
  • Who said I was an angel? (Oh, I’m no angel, when you look at me)
    • The next time you’ll see me, I won’t be that angel anymore. I can’t be. I won’t put on a mask for the sake of whatever we had. You hurt me, I’m not gonna belittle my pain because of the way I feel anymore.

When you look at me, what do you see? (What do you see?)
Open your eyes, I’m more brilliant than you’ll ever be
Who said I was an angel? (Who said I was, an angel?)

  • Who said I was an angel?
    (Who said I was an angel? Didn’t know the real me, I’m far from an angel)

    • Even though you wanted to know the real me and you got some pieces of her, you never got her. Because if you did know the real me, you would know you were hurting me and giving me the worst anxiety. You would know that I”m not this girl with her feelings in check and everything going perfectly for her.
  • Who said I was an angel? Oh, yeah (Never took the time out, never had time to figure me out. When you look at me)
    • Like I said before, you never took the time out. If you put in even a little time to care… would that have been so hard? But apparently, it was. You didn’t have time to figure me out. Even though you have this “perception” of me figured out. You think you know me but you’re just making assumptions thinking I’m an angel. Maybe that’s why you keep thinking the way you treat me is okay… since I’m an “angel” I’ll forgive your behavior, right? And you blamed never taking the time out on your tendency to lose focus. I understand that— but when it comes to how crappy you treated me, it’s hard to think it’s all because of that.

When you look at me, what do you see? What do you see?
Open your eyes, I’m more brilliant than you’ll ever be
Who said I was an angel? (Who said I was an angel? Oh)

That’s one of my favorite songs now. I connected thoughts and feelings I didn’t even know were there but yeah… I was just feeling all that so it all just came out. I might do this as a thing now because honestly, it was amazing getting everything out there. I forgot how that felt. And I literally just thought of a name for it, “Lyric Connection Reflection” It’s a mouthful but I really like it.

But tell me your thoughts, did you like the song? How do you feel about songs that seem to just speak from your heart? Any suggestions?

And some advice to leave you with: Connect your heart and feelings to music instead of sadness. It’ll make you feel so so so much better. Whenever I get a little tug on my heart I listen to music because I know it’ll be able to express my feelings in a way overthinking never can.

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Goodbye, Junior

Start: Hello, Junior: Day 1 & Hello, Junior: Day 2

And now it’s the finish, the end. Well, not really the end of life or anything but it’s the end of my junior year.

Already? It literally feels like just yesterday the school year started. Okayyy… maybe not just yesterday but when I think of the first day of school I think, “Woah that was 10 months ago?!!?” But when I think about the journey it took to get me here, it D.E.F.I.N.I.T.E.L.Y. does not feel like the first day of school was yesterday anymore.

Honestly, I think this is my favorite year of high school (hopefully, so far) freshman year comes as second, and sophomore year: third.

This school year definitely didn’t start out good. What first day starts out good? But overall, looking back the school year turned out to be good even though I did have my crappy moments.

I made some real friends this year (hopefully). One of my real friends is the friend I made in my chem class. From the moment we met, we literally vibed so much. We could tell each other anything at this point. It’s been so nice to have her there and not only there in that class but there in any situation: she’s helped me figure out my major for college, she helped me with Phoenix, etc. Even once, we had a fire drill and she went to hang out with her friends but she didn’t leave me alone she let me be included with her group of friends and it was just so nice of her. Another real friend was Phoenix. To be honest, apart from the feelings and everything else it really is nice to know that he’s real and not fake. The fact that he wants to know more about me and wants to willingly hang out with me is something I can’t even begin to describe. I made some real friendships with lower classmen and I feel like a big sister to them because I’ve been through what they might be going through school-wise although, they never fail to make me feel old.

I started my hello junior year posts with a breakdown of all the periods and how they all were the first day and I think it should be tradition to say how they all ended. (This focuses around second semester)

  • Period 1: Piano
    • Honestly, this class was boring sometimes. There were days where I would just sit in my seat and try to find something to play but nothing. My teacher never really had a lesson plan so everything was freelance. But, I did learn some piano and I’m going to buy piano books to teach myself. I’m still learning “A Thousand Years” and I’m nearing the end of the song. But, this last day it was so cool because the whole class got on a bunch of pianos and we had this jam session and it just sounded really cool. So cool that I wanted to record it but I couldn’t considering my hands were occupied.
  • Period 2: Modern World
    • One of my friends from freshman year was in this class and the first day she asked me to come sit near her, but the only seat near her was next to her friend. And it was awkward because her friend was in 2 of my previous classes in the previous years and we never really became friends. So it was me, her friend, then her. But as days and weeks passed I got to know her friend and her more and it was really nice. I actually ended up hanging out with her, some of her friends and my best friend this past week. It was really nice sitting next to those two. They never made one class boring. Even though sometimes I felt like the odd-one-out, overall they both made me really happy. Also after this period my friend and I would walk to our 4th period together and it was always so nice, she would dread about Spanish and I would sometimes dread about AP Language. It was really nice.
  • Period 3: Photography
    • At first, this class seemed lonely. Because none of my friends from my old photography class ended up in the same class as me. So it sucked at first. Then we had this photo assignment where we had to take pictures of each other and this girl didn’t have anyone so me and this girl I awkwardly asked beforehand if we could be partners let her take pictures with us. And a friendship started. Then she had another friend and I had friends. I wasn’t lonely. All of them were freshmen and sometimes it was overwhelming because one of my friends always talked about this shitty boy who never deserved my friend but no matter what she always went back to him. Stuff like that pissed me off and sometimes they were rude here and there and on the days where I wasn’t mentally okay I took it to heart. But I know that it doesn’t come from a place of hate. They really truly care about me. When I had strep throat they cared about where I was and that I felt okay.
    • But the content of the class- I didn’t really like it. The first semester, we were taking these aesthetic pictures with film and everything. My first semester teacher told me we would be more on the computers but I didn’t realize we would be learning more about photoshop than photography. I mean I didn’t mind the photoshop but my second semester teacher focused more on what we did on photoshop than our pictures itself. I just don’t really feel like I learned that much this semester compared to first semester. Plus my second semester teacher was never enthusiastic about things.
  • Period 4: AP Language & Composition
    • One of my friends from the previous semester was in this class so it was okay. We talked more this semester than last semester- so that was really nice. My teacher gave us this really inspiring speech about anything that we do should be seen as an accomplishment. Even little things like writing essays or research papers, they should be seen as accomplishments because some people can’t even do that and we should never take our abilities for granted. His class was really hard, I never got an A, always straight B’s and the papers were always hard. But he was a really good teacher and his acting when reading is really awesome.
  • Period 5: Chemistry
    • My everyday class. This class was only amazing because I had the real friend (that I talked about earlier) in this class. We both had the same class both semesters so that was honestly so perfect. We never really paid attention and when the test date came we were screwed but each time we made it through. We always made each other laugh because we have the same sense of humor and I can literally tell her anything. Even though chemistry haunted my life, I’m honestly so happy because I got to know such an amazing person (ohh noo I’m getting sappy)
  • Period 6: Lunch
    • Lunch was always good. I mean it’s lunch there was nothing exciting about it. But I’m so happy because my best friend and I had the same lunch for both semesters so that was amazing and a weight off the anxiety shoulders.
  • Period 7: Spanish
    • UDsafkalsdjfd Spanish. I mean trust me I’m all for speaking another language and learning about the culture. But this class drained me. The class was full of freshmen who never knew the right and wrong time to talk. And the grammar and remembering everything killed me. But I made it through. I actually made friends with this girl that the teacher assigned next to me and she was really funny but through half of the semester, she switched everyone’s seats so that sucked. But, oh my gosh, I actually made it through!
  • Period 8: Algebr(uh)a Two (Sorry I had to make that joke once in my life lol)
    • This class was so fun. I mean at first the teacher kinda scared me but she turned out to be so funny. And I sat with 2 people I knew from wayyyy back all the way to elementary school. It was always so fun doing worksheets with them. Even though it’s weird saying work was fun. Doing the work wasn’t fun but doing the work with them and working it out together was fun. We were always cracking jokes and laughing at anything. Lol I think our teacher got mad sometimes but even she joined in sometimes.

So there we go. That’s all that’s happened. From beginning to end. It’s so weird because in my sophomore year… I hated my sophomore year because I felt so alone and lost. That was the year I found out I had anxiety and so many things clicked this year like fake friends and all that. It was just such a bad year for me. But when I compare junior year to sophomore year, thank God that He carried me through. I prayed so much and He didn’t let me down. I don’t feel as lost anymore, or as lost as I was last year. It was horrible last year. But He put constants in my life: people, love, even happiness here and there. The only way I made it through was because God helped me and I had some amazing friends that pulled me through. I wanted to just give up and give in sometimes, but I never did.

I accomplished all I needed to do this year and I can overthink as much as I want but the way things happened, I can’t change them. I can’t do anything but be happy and marvel at the fact that I was able to make it through.

It’s honestly so weird to think that next school year, actually kind of right now, I’m officially a senior… I don’t think it’ll really click until August when school starts again. But I mean WHATSTSSDT???? I remember entering middle school (6th grade) and telling my friends “Woah we’re the big kids now.” And then 8th grade and feeling like the actual big kids considering we were the ones going to graduate. Then 9th grade rolled around and I was honestly so freakishly scared and frightened and everything to be going to high school. And now HERE I AM, about to be a senior. W.h.a.t. Literally, where is the time going?

Sometimes it feels like time goes by so slow, then other times it feels like it’s going so fast that I’m literally chasing it down for it to stop (which is weird because I hardly run). But let me not blow my mind too much thinking about the concept of time because that could last forever (lol get it?… I’m sorry haha).

I get really nostalgic thinking about time and how everything is going by so fast. Sometimes on my dark days, I want nothing more than to grow up, but once I’m there it’s not really what I want anymore. I think of all the goodbye’s and see you soon’s and talk to you soon’s and they’re just tugging at my heartstrings. I thought I would be more relieved but I’m experiencing that feeling of change again. Thinking about the friends who might not have the time to talk to me and how life is only going to be different and harder from here on out. I mean I actually have to think about college and everything. I’m getting anxiety. I  just need to breathe and take everything day by day.

Here’s to the end of another year. You made it, Rebecca!

I really hope that if you read my first day and last day it was able to maybe teach you that no matter how anxious the beginning of something can be, the journey of it until the end might seem far away and hard to reach… but you can make it through.

You’re capable of more than you believe. So much more.

«Music Friday»

So all this week I listened to Halsey’s “Hopeless Fountain Kingdom” and it is honestly: so b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l. Halsey is such a musical inspiration. Her album is a concept album which means that all the songs on the album hold a greater meaning together than individually. And Halsey said that this album is top to bottom about her being able to love herself after an abusive relationship. It’s so amazing. Plus, it’s like a scavenger hunt. If you check out her twitter you can see her fans figuring out new pieces behind her lyrics and it’s so beautiful that the story can keep being interpreted. (But be warned because there are explicit songs, I don’t know who might be reading this, just making sure I don’t offend young ears).

I hope you all had an amazing week. We made it through another one everyone!

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all it takes is a day for things to happen.

I met you again on a Monday.

It was a weird day for me.

It was confirmed that we had four classes together that semester on a Tuesday.

Purely coincidental, right?

I realized that I started harboring feelings for you on a Saturday.

Was it only because I wanted to get over someone?

You remembered me on a Friday.

It was weird for us to be talking again for the first time in 2 years.

You smiled at me for the first time on a Friday.

We had Spanish presentations that day.

You said “Hello” to me on a Friday.

And that’s the moment I knew I was in for a long ride.

I saw you with your girlfriend outside the door of our first period class on a Tuesday.

And my heart broke in a way I didn’t ever want to feel again (but still keep feeling).

I told my other best friend that I like you on a Sunday.

I guess that’s when it became real.

I had to sit next to you in class on a Thursday.

Because the seat next to my best friend was taken.

I gave you the binder that you left in class on a Thursday.

But I never told you it was me.

I liked having a conversation with you on a Thursday.

It was awkward for me at first but you were still the same nice person from freshman year.

You moved to the right in the front of the room for me so that I could be able to stand next to you and see (because I’m short) on a Friday.

And I still don’t know what made you do that.

I realized you started bringing me happiness on a Tuesday.

And I vented to my best friend about how you would never break up with your girlfriend and it was hopeless.

You told me not to give up on a project on a Thursday.

So I didn’t.

I realized I couldn’t do anything about my feelings on a Tuesday.

Your smile and the way you looked at me didn’t help.

I found out that you broke up with your girlfriend on a Wednesday.

It was hard to believe, I didn’t think it would actually happen.

My friend told me to get your number on a Saturday.

And I thought how would that ever happen.

You accidentally bumped into me on a Thursday.

And it was hilarious because you felt so bad and thought you had crushed me.

I figured out our friendship was platonic on a Thursday.

And it hurt me.

I realized I didn’t want to lose your friendship on a Friday.

So I held on, even with my feelings, because of who you were.

Our Spanish teacher assigned your seat right in front of me on a Friday.

And I knew life was laughing at me somewhere.

You smiled at me for the hundredth (I didn’t actually count) time on a Thursday.

That’s when I realized that could be the one thing that could kill me.

Your ex-girlfriend got yelled at by her friends for not wearing her jacket on a Thursday.

She didn’t have it because you had it and my heart broke for the ______ time.

I listened to sad music and created a playlist on Spotify on a Thursday.

Because it hurt so damn much.

I had to avoid you and be abrupt with your questions in Photography class on a Friday.

But I had to ask you for help in that class and you cared.

We had a full conversation in class on a Friday.

It helped but I was very confused.

I got your snapchat on a Friday.

But only because my best friend wanted the pictures of the Spanish packet that you discreetly took on your phone.

I messaged you first on a Saturday.

That’s when our first text conversation began.

You made fun of how I almost fell off the hill on a Friday.

And I wanted to make you fall.

You stopped our conversation and left my side to go talk to her on a Friday.

Of course, why would you keep talking to me?

You asked me if I had depression on a Wednesday.

I told you the truth about my anxiety and knew that this wouldn’t be an easy crush.

I opened up about my anxiety to you on a Saturday.

And it was weird for me.

You told me you were interested in who I was on a Sunday.

And if my anxiety was convincing me that I was bothering you- you wouldn’t be doing your job as a good friend.

I found out we had no classes together in second semester on a Monday.

I felt my heart drop and questioned life’s intentions.

I told you that I was upset about it on a Monday.

I can’t believe I was that comfortable with you to tell you that.

You told me you would never forget me and that we would still message each other on a Tuesday.

It made me feel better.

You got yelled at by her to hurry up on a Wednesday.

And one of my classmates/friends asked me if you were back together with her.

You sat next to me in class on a Thursday.

Because that would be our last class that we had together, but the 45 minutes went by too fast.

My best friend told you that I could sing on a Friday.

And you said you were gonna hear me sing one day or another.

The new semester began on a Monday.

It broke my heart not to see you every day in my classes.

I missed you especially in Spanish class on a Monday.

Because you made that class bearable.

I saw you on the staircase with your new haircut on a Tuesday.

And I yelled at you for not responding to my message.

I saw you walking with her on a Tuesday.

And I knew, for a fact, that you would never miss me as much as I miss you.

I asked you how you would feel if our friendship ended on a Thursday.

And you told me you would be sad, real sad.

I thought my anxiety messed up our friendship on a Monday.

Because I was overthinking the fact that you didn’t talk to me for a week because your messaging wasn’t working.

I realized that I was scared on a Monday.

I was scared to lose you.

I told one of my friends who’s also your friend that I liked you on a Monday.

And she told me that you never got back together with her, you were just best friends with her.

I thought you weren’t trying anymore in our friendship on a Friday.

Did you even want to hang out and see me?

I turned around to talk to my friend just so you wouldn’t talk to me on a Friday.

Because I needed to protect my heart.

You told me you had your college life planned out already on a Sunday.

And I was jealous because I didn’t even know where I would want to go to college.

You hugged me on a Monday.

And my heart wouldn’t stop palpitating for 10 minutes.

You told me my sarcasm makes you laugh on a Thursday.

I really was growing comfortable with you.

You told me that we should go to Ethiopia and India on a Monday.

But it was just for the conversation, right?

You told me we should text shorter to each other on a Friday.

So that we would be able to have time to talk more.

You told me you wanted to watch the school play with me on a Thursday.

But we both had conflicting schedules and I told you that there would be other opportunities for us to hang out.

I gave you a nickname on a Saturday.

And you were already finding ideas for mine.

I told you that fake people don’t know the real me and think I’m quiet on a Saturday.

You told me that must mean I’m comfortable with you and we’re comfortable with each other.

You gave me a nickname on Sunday.

And we figured out that we had a lot in common, like finding puns hilarious.

You told me that instead of planning to go to the play we should’ve gone to see a beautiful sunset on a Monday.

I told you I want to escape from the city and see the stars and you agreed that that should be our goal for the semester/summer.

You gave me candy on a Monday.

I have horrible eye-to-hand coordination so you had to throw it into the hoodie of my jacket.

I saw you on the staircase and you stopped me from going to lunch to have a short conversation on a Monday.

You asked me if I wanted to hang out with you over spring break, making you late to class.

You told me that whenever we see each other briefly at school and have our little talks away from texting it makes your day on a Monday.

You really aren’t helping me.

You told me you felt bad because you went to Chipotle and couldn’t buy me anything because you didn’t have enough cash on a Monday.

Did you really think of me or were you just saying that?

I told you I had a crappy day and you told me that you hope my smile is saved for Tuesday.

In a platonic way, right?

You told me you drove illegally to Chipotle on a Wednesday.

You’re such a bad influence and I thought I had to make sure to give you a bit of my good influence.

You told me you were sad that you didn’t see me on the last day of school before spring break on a Friday.

You claimed that you would pick me up and I told you I was not looking forward to being thrown like a football.

I replied to you shortly while I was in my dark hole on a Monday.

I had a little hope that you would ask me what’s wrong but thought it was just another one of my mind’s impossible realities.

You asked me what’s wrong on a Monday.

I dropped my phone; you weren’t actually supposed to make my mind’s fantasies to come true.

You told me you had to make sure that I knew that you cared on a Wednesday.

And that you would be there when I was ready to open up to you. Liar.

I messaged you my childhood pictures because you wanted to see them on a Thursday.

You thought I was so cute and I asked for your childhood pictures too.

I went into my dark hole again and I opened up to you on a Friday.

My mistake for actually thinking that you would be there and you actually cared.

You read my message without a reply on a Saturday.

And I ruined myself waiting for you to reply because I was vulnerable.

You sent me a message the night before school on a Monday.

I didn’t open it because I was a pissed you left me hanging for two days.

I opened your message on a Wednesday.

And it had nothing to do with me opening up to you.

I told people I could trust how you responded to me opening up to you on a Thursday.

And they told me I deserve better and to move on.

I blamed myself for the whole thing on a Friday.

Because if I didn’t open up to you we would still be talking like we normally do.

I asked my friend if I should be upfront with you about the whole thing on a Saturday.

She told me not to bring it up and to just start a new conversation, so I did.

I started a new conversation on a Saturday.

And I wonder if I didn’t start a new conversation, would you have even cared? Did it even phase you that we hadn’t talked for 3 days?

My friend told me that if you hurt me again she would fight you on a Saturday.

I trusted that you wouldn’t because I knew who you were. I was wrong. I don’t know who you are anymore.

We had a conversation on a Sunday.

But it felt weird, you weren’t responding like you used to.

I opened a message of yours on a Monday.

And you put no effort into replying to what I had to say. Your paragraphs turned into uninterested short sentences.

I cried because of you on a Monday.

Because did I ruin us? Or was I fool for thinking that you actually cared about me?

You opened my message on a Monday.

And you didn’t reply, nothing new.

You replied to me on a Wednesday.

It took you two days to give me your two-second, half-assed reply.

My friends saw you with her on a Wednesday.

I thought why am I even trying anymore when you don’t care.

I saw you on a Thursday.

But how could you expect me to look directly into your eyes? I couldn’t. I had to leave fast.

I overthink about you every day.

Nothing has or will ever change that.

It’s funny how so much can happen in a mere day.

How a friendship can be made.

How feelings can be developed.

But also, how everything can come crashing down.

I’m writing this about the two of us on a Saturday.

Is it the end of us? Was there ever an us?

«Music Saturday»

Rockabye by Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie 

Runnin’ Home to You by Grant Gustin 

No Promises by Cheat Codes ft. Demi Lovato

If This is Love by Ruth B

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My Week Update

I don’t know what I should be more excited about: The fact that I’m done with the 30 hours of classroom education of driving school (which is why I’ve kind of been inactive for the past 2 weeks) or the fact that it’s finally spring break!!!

I think I’m more excited about the second one, as you might be able to tell from the bold.

So this is kind of a life update, not just a week update. Because of driving school AND school, I haven’t been able to catch up with you guys or myself. How’s everyone been?

So driving school was a lot of work. I had to come home from school, do homework for the 3 hours I have, before going to driving school and coming home at 9. The first week (which was last week) was really tiring because it was the second to last week before spring break so of course, teachers were cramming in tests, quizzes, and essays. Not only because of the nearing spring break but also because the end of the third quarter was coming too.

As of this morning, my grades are actually pretty good, but I’m glad the grade book is closing up. Because, I kid you not, all of my grades are either B’s close to A’s (which frustrates me) or A’s close to B’s (which gives me anxiety, hoping that my teachers aren’t done entering work in). Imagine seeing an 89.0% (B grade)and literally, all you need to get an A is an extra .7% to make it an 89.7% this grading system/school system really pisses me off, but that’s for another post in the near future.

The second week of driving school, I just wanted to get out of there. The teacher noticed I didn’t talk much (thank you social anxiety) so he called me out about it during class and said he would take off participation points (which he can’t do) so that made me feel horrible. But he didn’t mention it again and just let me be so that was okay. But honestly, I’m glad it’s all over. I just need my 6 hours of instructional driving.

In piano class, I had a recital that I was in no way prepared for because I didn’t know what to play. I’ve been learning “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri but I didn’t learn the whole 7-page song so I thought I would just do a song out of our piano book. But of course, I didn’t learn the book page piece until the day of the recital. Weirdly, I wasn’t anxious about my piano recital the night before, just the moment of it actually happening. So other students went to play their recital before me, and they played half of their songs, so I thought why not do “A Thousand Years?” I mean I’ve memorized the whole first part because I’ve been working on it since maybe November. Of course, my teacher called on me and it was like a minute before the bell rang. Well, my heart was pounding, but, I don’t know, the minute my fingers touched the piano and the sound came out it was like all the anxiety kind of faded away and it was just me and the music. I messed up my last note, but who doesn’t make mistakes here and there?

I went to a college fair as a high school field trip. This was my first field trip since 8th grade lol. It was kind of stressful. If anyone doesn’t know, a college fair is a place where students go to meet 100+ colleges with their booths set up in a reception hall or building. Well, there were 300+ colleges at this fair and there were so many buildings. The guide said there were 3 buildings but it felt like there were 10. (If you think 10 is an exaggeration I was about to say 20) Plus schools from all around the county came, so that’s 20+ schools. And you know what the worst part of it was? We only had 90 minutes. Plus we had to go in this alone. Well not alone alone, I was with my best friend. At first, we were both lost. Lol we actually walked out of one building and then walked into the same building but from a different side. But honestly, having her by my side gave me sanity and she made sure I got to go to the booths that interested me. If she wasn’t there I would just be hiding in a bathroom somewhere. I wish I had more time but I think I got enough brochures from colleges and settled on going to a college close to home or close to my state.

The day before the college fair, my friend literally saved me. I was stressed because I just had a meeting with my counselor about college. And there are SO MANY THINGS you have to do before applying. I mean it’s not just the SAT and a recommendation letter. So my friend helped me narrow down what I should be based on what I want to be and she gave me this website (lol she said that applying for the website was my homework) which will help me narrow down my choices and see where I should go.

Phoenix. I haven’t really been talking about him much. Well, not as much as I used to. I used to give weekly updates on everything going with him. Well, trust me, things are still very much complicated. He’s become a better texter time-wise. Last Sunday, he replied more than 5 times, on. the. same. day. So that helps my feelings. Then this past Monday, he saw me on the staircase at school and he tells me that he wants to hang out with me over Spring Break and we should text each other about it. I don’t really think it’s going to happen because I am still a girl with Indian parents. But, I mean, he really wants to hang out with me? And then he tells me little things while texting me that just make my heart want to explode. He’s doing something to me, I don’t know.

So, while texting, he said that our small interactions (because we barely see each other face-to-face, but sometimes we see each other for a few seconds) make his day. And he likes seeing me and teasing me. I told him that if it makes his day then mission accomplished and I like seeing him too. The teasing could be minimized though but I still like it. Then he tells me that he knew I liked the teasing and I told him I just said that so I wouldn’t sound too mean. And then he said your smile tells me otherwise. I don’t know it’s just things like that…. and then the fact that even though we barely see each other he doesn’t let go like everyone else so easily does. He actually tries in our friendship. I don’t want to ruin a great friendship.

But I mean he’s perfect. He’s perfect for a girl with anxiety. He told me that he doesn’t like parties. We were planning to go to a school play together but he couldn’t go, and he texted me saying that instead of going to the school play we should’ve gone somewhere where we could watch the beautiful sunset. ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME. Life really isn’t giving me a break. At least give me someone I can d.i.s.a.g.r.e.e. with. Then I told him that my dream one day is to just get away from the city and the people and the loudness and just look up at all the stars and their beauty, how I’ve never seen but a handful of stars and I wanna change that. And you know what he said?? Please, guess. I’ll give you a second.

Did you try? Please at least give it a try?

Ok, I won’t push you anymore. He said finally something great about you (he jokes around with me a lot don’t take this part seriously) that should be our goal for the summer or before the semester ends. We should make it happen. Yep. Yep. Yep. Of course, now it’ll be so easy to convince myself that we’re just friends (catch the sarcasm?) It’s like this past week I’ve just fallen deeper. Literally, the moment after I said I want to move. on. Hello Life, are you listening?

I don’t want to fall deeper. At least I don’t think I want to. I mean yes, he’s a great guy. He says so many sweet things. But he also friend zones me a lot. And I don’t know how much I can read between the lines before I just sdklfjlsdkf (that was me blowing up). And honestly, liking him isn’t good for me. It gives me so much anxiety. Plus, I hate some random girl I don’t even know just because she’s his ex-girlfriend and best friend. What is wrong with me? I didn’t even realize I was so absorbed in this nature of jealousy. I don’t know anything about this girl to hate her, apart from the fact that she was in my biology class last year for one semester, but I didn’t even pay that much attention to her (because if I did it would be weird, she was just another high school classmate) so I can’t even say she’s a bad person. Because she’s not. Yes, it hurts seeing them together but that doesn’t mean I have to hate this girl- which is what I’ve been doing for the past few months. And I hate hating people. I don’t want to hate her just because of my heart.

I just want to focus on myself. I need to. I need to think about who I want to be where I want to go in life. For one second I need to think of my well-being instead of worrying about what others think about me. I need to make sure I feel loved by myself and I’m proud of my own achievements.

This is why I’m excited about spring break. I’m just so ready for a break. I’m ready to destress for a little bit and take care of myself. Today itself, I took a nice shower and painted my nails and watched a movie. That might not seem like much, but it was a lot for me. I took care of myself. I did what makes me happy. I could forget about my worries for a second, and I think that’s all that matters right now.

«Music Friday»

One Time by Marian Hill

I’m so obsessed with Marian Hill. Their music is different from anything I usually listen to, which is why I love it. I first hear about them when they did a song with Lauren Jauregui, from my favorite band. Then I just started listening to that song on youtube in piano class and the autoplay thing on youtube was on and I was too lazy to stop it so I just listened to their music. One of the best decisions I’ve made. If you like this song, you should stream their whole album on Spotify, it gives you chills.

TRNDSTTR by Black Coast (Lucian Remix)

Hope you enjoy, have a great weekend everyone!

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the conclusion of falling.

(the beginning.)

I fell too hard.

I fell too deep.

But it’s not all my fault.

You’re to blame too.

I didn’t ask you to break down my walls.

I never told you to trust me.

I didn’t push to be your friend.

But you did.

Why did you want this?

I thought I could handle this,

but I can’t.

Because while I’m chasing after you,

you’ll always be chasing after her.

And I can’t handle that.

I can’t just be your friend.

I can’t just look at you and feel nothing.

And it might take me some time,

but I want to move on.

Becuase I can’t wait for someone who waits for someone else.

I don’t know why you wanted me as a friend,

I still don’t know why.

I don’t know why my heart fell for you,

but it did.

I will do all I can to keep this friendship going,

and to keep my heart beating.

Even if that means breaking it a little bit to erase your name,

from its clutches.

Because a guy like you shows up all the time.

But a friend like you is hard to find.

Maybe this isn’t the way I would choose it.

But I would rather have my heart break a little,

then break altogether.

It might take weeks to get over you,

or it might take months.

But I’m doing what’s best for me.

Maybe you’re not the one,

my heart needs.

Over the past few days,

I wondered what the point all of this was.

To fall for you, and just have it all go to waste.

But I’m happy that I fell.

I guess that I am.

I forgot what it was like to be happy for someone special to notice you.

I forgot what it was like to get a little jump in your heart.

I forgot what it was like to develop a relationship.

I forgot what it was like to think of the things you like about someone and get an immediate smile on your face.

I forgot how a simple stare and smile could affect you.

I forgot what it was like to fall.

If you didn’t show up,

I would still be hung up over a jerk.

And that’s not something I would want.

So thank you,

for being someone I could fall for.

And for showing me,

that I’m capable of finding someone special after being unable to for a long time.

Thank you for showing me what it’s like to fall.

Things didn’t turn out the way I would’ve liked them too

because you never felt the same way about me.

But I’m thankful that you were able to bring my heart into the light for a little bit.

Now, it’s time to move on,

because my heart can’t stick on you for too long.

I fell,

maybe I’m still falling.

But this time is different.

This time,

I won’t let gravity do its job.

«Music Friday»

Issues by Julia Michaels

Let It All Go by Birdy + RHODES

Empty by Olivia O’Brien

Beauty and the Beast (From “Beauty and the Beast”) – Ariana Grande & John Legend

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